Past, Present and Future
by beallandmore3
Summary: Jayne knew that his past wanted nothing to do with him...until it caught up with him that is. Little did anyone know that his past would take the shape of a wife.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing other than Cassidy and Evan Cobb. **

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated**

Kaylee knew that she shouldn't be going through Jayne's things but the captain was right there beside her doing the same so she didn't feel quite as bad about it. Then again, how was she supposed to help if she didn't even know what they were looking for? She was hesitant to ask since Mal seemed awfully anxious but she had to know, "Captain, what exactly are we looking for?"

"A key Kaylee"

"Yes…but what for?"

"A key to Serenity!" He curtly responded.

Kaylee couldn't hide her confusion as she brushed off his rudeness, "I've been working on this ship for a long time Captain and I never before noticed that there was a key involved."

"And there isn't…much. Listen, as a safety measure when I first bought her they said that the ship would randomly call for a key once a year or she would send out a stolen merchandise signal." His voice was barely discernable as he had completely immersed under the bed.

"Sounds like a pretty important key."

"Yes you can understand my hurry."

"Now _why_ did you give it to Jayne?" She asked as she looked through his cabinet.

"We were given three and I always felt that if things went down he would at least still be standing and able to get Serenity where she needs to go."

"Uh huh…now where's _your_ key Captain?"

"Oh gorram it Kaylee if I knew that do you think I would be down here? Now here I am trying to find Jaynes that he has probably stuffed who knows where and forgotten about and he'll never know the difference. Its bad enough that Zoe's out of com range but if you would rather search her room…"

"No, I see why just fine now captain" Kaylee interrupted. As she shook her head at the absurdity of her captain she pulled up the mattress to see if anything was stuffed underneath. In the process a piece of paper fluttered out and hit the floor. She would later swear that curiosity alone made her reach down and study what might have been a simple bit of trash. It wasn't. It was a photograph, and to top it all off not a nudie shot like the rest of the photos that littered his walls. Why would this picture be hidden under his bed? Her mind leaped with possibilities as she examined the photo. There was a pretty woman holding a little baby cradled in her arms. Her smile was radiant as she looked into the camera, the wind blowing her curls around her face but that didn't stop her from looking amazingly happy.

"What's that?" She jumped as the captain interrupted her thoughts as he looked over her shoulder.

"I don't rightly know captain, it was under the mattress." Kaylee turned the photo towards Mal so he could get a better look.

"It looks like a mystery that I don't want to figure out regarding our Jayne," Mal said and Kaylee was amazed that he could leave it at that, wasn't he the least bit curious? "Here, I found the key lets straighten up and leave before Jayne gets back" he continued.

Kaylee took one last glance at the picture and let her imagination wander. It looked pretty worn and wasn't new enough to be from a capture so she knew there must be a history there, but what? She sighed knowing that she would never be able to find a reason to ask Jayne about a picture she should have never even known existedn. Slipping it back under the mattress she tried to pretend she hadn't seen it.

3 months later

Malcolm wasn't exactly looking for a job, but he wasn't about to pass one up either. Had he known the trouble that this particular job was going to bring him and his crew he might have looked the other way—but then again probably not, after all not many people would have believed him.

In all honesty she looked like trouble. Light curly hair surrounded a face that showed too many worries for someone her age. She was a pretty thing, despite the large hood and long figure-hiding robe. She glanced over her shoulder far too much for his instinct not to ring alarms but her eyes were so filled with fear he couldn't turn away.

She hurried towards Serenity right when he was leaving to get supplies and grabbed onto his arm.

"Are you Captain Malcolm Reynolds?" she asked. Her desperation leaked into the question making him glad he could answer in the affirmative.

"That's me, can I help you miss?" he had to reach out and hold onto her shoulders when she swayed with relief.

"I was told you would do any job no matter the complications and without asking too many questions" she spoke slowly and didn't waver even though his grip tightened.

"If you think I'm a cheap hire for you to skip the feds think again, I…"

She silenced him when she shoved the money at him, he could tell from the weight of the bag that it was a near fortune. What could she possibly need that was worth so much?

"Captain I would be disappointed if you came cheap. It's a retrieval job, something the feds have no interest in one way or another but something that means the world to me, as you can tell. I won't lie and say I'm not in trouble but it's just a few thugs who think they're tougher than they are. Sorry to say I need help getting past them and getting my treasure back. Will you help?"

Cassidy had been told about the crew of Serenity and its captain. Mostly they were discussed either as a legend or a disgrace, either way when a question came up about the best crew to get out of a tight spot Serenity was named. And if there was ever a tight spot Cassidy was living it. For the past week she went to every firefly she saw searching…always searching and always coming up empty handed. She was at the end of the line and, well, now that she finally found Malcolm, she wasn't going to let him leave even if she had to pull the gun she had hidden in her robe. He was going to help her whether he wanted to or not.

Good thing for them both Mal wasn't going to pass on a job that was paying what he was holding. He stretched out his empty hand towards Cassidy and said, "welcome aboard, but you still have some explaining to do." She walked right past him while he grumbled, "you're welcome."

Errands forgotten for the moment Mal followed Cassidy into his ship to explain the situation to his crew. With her back to him she found her first hint of a smile in months, just a bare lifting of the corners but still a smile as she called back to him, "My names Cassidy, Mr. Reynolds and you will get my thanks when your job is done make no mistake."

Jayne was hauling empty crates onto the mule when he heard footsteps walking onto the bridge. He turned his head while reaching for the gun at his side as a precaution. It wasn't necessary since he saw that it was just the captain and then he second guessed that relief when he saw the stranger cloaked in shadow at his side. Cassidy was looking to the left of the bay when she heard him, "Captain, we taking on passengers that I don't know 'bout?" Her reaction was instantaneous. The voice she would know anywhere. No, _no_ it couldn't be but as her wide eyes focused she knew the truth, there standing not twenty feet from her was the one person she prayed daily not to run into.

Jayne's reaction was just as stunned. His jaw dropped an inch down and his whole body tensed as a shock went through him. He leaped over the crates to come charging over to them as Cassidy spun to face Mal, "tell me he's not part of your crew!" Just as she finished her sentence Jayne grabbed her shoulder in his fierce grip and jerked her around to face him again. A million emotions flashed across his face but the one that won over was the anger that mirrored her own.

"Hey now, no need to get rough," Mal wasn't sure what sort of trouble he just brought onto his ship but Jayne hadn't reached for his gun so his alarm dimmed to interest, "you know her?"

"Of course I gorram know her" Jayne snapped.

Mal didn't like being kept in the dark, "I'm missing something and someone had sure as hell better explain what it is before I throw you both off my ship."

Cassidy turned to him and said, "I have made a terrible mistake captain, I should leave and find another crew."

"Like hell," Jayne interrupted. He still hadn't recovered enough from the initial shock to start demanding answers but he was facing a woman he hadn't seen in over a year and he wasn't about to let her just walk out without answering a few questions.

Mal continued for him, "question number one: how the hell do you know her Jayne, who is she?"

Jayne exhaled loudly as if he had been holding his breath in his stupor, he finally turned away from Cassidy to look at Mal who was satisfied that he might now finally get some answers.

"She's my wife."


	2. Chapter 2

Mal didn't react at first, in truth if Jayne didn't look so damned torn up and confused himself he would have thought he had developed a teasing sense of humor. As it was Mal just stood there looking at his mercenary trying to figure it all out in his head.

Fortunately, Zoe took that time to walk into the bay, "Captain I was just going to go down with the mule" her presence didn't phase them much and the silence along with Mal's stupefied face in addition to the lovely woman next to him raised her suspicions, "don't tell me you got married again?"

Cassidy was uncomfortable, more and more people were coming and all she wanted to do was leave and forget this whole ship and one man who seemed to call it home. This was supposed to be a little to no-questions-asked job and it was getting complicated. Oh why hadn't she asked more questions about the crew of Serenity? Jayne still hadn't let go of her and she knew from experience he wasn't like to get distracted and let her leave anytime soon. Not until he got answers of his own, but she couldn't give him answers even if she wanted to which, in truth, was the last thing she wanted to do. With everything that had happened in the past few years her feelings for him left a bitter taste and for all she cared he could remain in the dark for the rest of his life!

"I can't rightly marry someone who's already married now can I Zoe?" Mals attention turned to his first mate that he knew would be able to straighten this all out for him to his satisfaction, "this to all of my confounded amazement is Mrs. Jayne Cobb, or that is what these two are trying to make me believe." He was almost laughing as he finished because he could see the same expression he had on earlier mimicked by Zoe.

Cassidy had had enough, she wasn't a soft spoken person, she just wasn't used to being surprised and while she stood there her mind was going a mile a minute trying to find a solution to this mess but she wasn't about to let Captain Reynolds comment slide, "I prefer to be called Cassidy, and while I don't give a damn whether you believe we're married or not I do care if you have changed your mind about helping me since then I should just take my leave since I am running short on time…"

"Didn't I tell you you ain't going nowhere?" Jayne emphasized with a shake.

That was it. She jerked herself away from Jayne's grip and backed up a few steps, "Like you give a damn! I am way past taking orders from you Jayne Cobb" she turned to storm out and then realized that the hatch had been closed while she was distracted. Gorram it she was trapped.

"Least I can tell it miss, you hired me and mine for a job and while I don't mean to add to your discomfort and would normally be all to happy to leave Jayne here for a spell to make you more comfortable, you mentioned trouble and I don't feel like getting shot at when Jayne can get shot at in my stead." As he said his speech he had advanced on Cassidy and was pleasantly surprised when she didn't back up a step, then again, she was married to Jayne and Mal may have some delusions of grandeur but he knew he wasn't as physically intimidating as his merc. "Jayne has been a part of my crew for a long time now and you two will just have to make your peace, we're leaving." He turned and began to walk away determined to tell the rest of his crew who was now occupying their ship before anyone else got the chance. He was practically running by the time he reached the stairs, Zoe was a close second.

Jayne and Cassidy were left alone in the silence. All he had to do was take three short strides and he would be able to reach her, but that was a lie. He had been aware for a long time now that he would have to be a master of traveling time to reach her at this point. So instead of making the effort he studied her.

She looked downright skinny and the darkness under her eyes showed her exhaustion. It didn't take away from her looks though, she had always been pretty but right then with her hair lit just so she was downright stunning and Jayne found himself in dangerous territory when he began to wonder if it was still as soft as her remembered. How in the hell did she still have this effect on him? And just why in the ruttin hell was she trying to hide the fact that she was packing from him?

He met her gaze and noticed something that went far deeper than the anger and betrayal between them, it scared him more than the exhaustion across her features. Her spark was missing her eyes were dead and lifeless. She didn't look like she was going to start railing into him for one thing or another but more like she would cry—and she never cried. Her eyes hadn't looked that way since…well in a long time. All his anger and confusion dissipated in an instant, "Cassidy, what happened?"

He didn't get an answer, the second he opened his mouth she moved and continued right past him following the trail of the captain. She was overwhelmingly grateful that he didn't reach out for her and didn't call out. She didn't want to disgrace herself by falling into his arms, she was supposed to hate him she reminded herself, and she did, it had just been so long since she had seen anyone familiar it shook her up all inside. She wasn't allowed to break she told herself, she had things to do, Evan was counting on her. So she left as fast as she could and tried to block out the memories that were surfacing—the feel of his arms around her, such strength. Strength she couldn't afford to depend on due to its unreliability she reminded herself. He didn't help you then and he won't help now. She shook her head and continued on her way to finding the captain. She would answer his questions and be as honest as possible, the more he knew the more help they could be.

She found herself isolated in a hallway leaning against the wall telling herself she just needed to take a few more gulping breaths and find whatever inner strength she had left. She shook herself upright and continued on, it was about time they started on their way. She had a son to rescue.

Jayne stood there in the silence for a minute. He wasn't known to be a man of many thoughts but damn it all Cassidy just walked into his life again and she stirred up all sorts of things on his part that he wasn't known for. Suddenly he was remembering things that for years he had tried to forget. The look on Bryants face when he asked Jayne to watch over the last thing he cared about in the world, Cassidy's face when she was younger—so full of life and love…and it all changed that one night.

Now Cassidy was obviously in trouble, and he had no clue what it was about. Gorram it didn't she know he was supposed to protect her? Of course she knew, she was there when he spoke the vow. Why had she searched out complete strangers for help and yet hadn't sent him a single message? Of course—she wanted nothing to do with him. At that thought his face darkened and he remembered that he didn't have to do anything where she was concerned, she chose this life and he his, but damn it all he wasn't about to let her tell a false story to _his_ crew. He stormed out even as he felt the ship lift off.


	3. Chapter 3

Mal had called a crew meeting the second they were out of atmo, he was practically jumping with excitement. The rest of the crew ranged from complete ignorance to well Jayne who had to know the most.

"We have a job, providing I can trust her" he said as he gestured towards Cassidy who had discarded her robe and held her head high determined not to hide a thing. "Everyone I would like to introduce Mrs. Jayne Cobb"

He might have just announced he was going to sell Serenity for parts and get a job working for the alliance, it got the same reaction. Wash shouldn't have been leaning back in his chair if the loud crash was any indication.

"Once again captain, my name is Cassidy and I would appreciate being called that, if you have some distaste to the name you can call me Cass but that is the only liberty I'm going to allow with what to call me. As for trusting me you can ask Jayne about that but I am not here to harm anyone, I just need help" Her voice had an edge of iron to it and Jayne found himself smiling if only because he was relieved that that hadn't changed about her.

Mal knew she was trustworthy otherwise he wouldn't have called a full crew meeting, complete with their renegade doctor and his sister, he just wanted to hear her say it. That and it helped that she didn't appear to recognize any of them from wanted pictures, that or she just didn't care. Either way was fine with him.

"Why Jayne you never told us you were married…not to mention" the shepherd tried to continue but was interrupted

"Not to mention you're not exactly a husbandly type" Kaylee continued. She was amazed that the pretty lady sitting at their table was married to the giant of a man leaning against the wall oddly silent. She was trying to count how many times she had known Jayne to be with other women…it wasn't a happy thought.

"Married….first he gets a town and now he has a wife" Simon wondered aloud hoping he would wake up from this nightmare soon.

"Of course he's married, but she wasn't supposed to come back after leaving and he wasn't supposed to come to the rescue…or maybe they were" River mused to herself knowing that no one was paying her any attention.

"I didn't figure it was any of yours business!" Jayne snapped from his corner.

Zoe was prepared so she just helped her sputtering husband up from the floor waiting for him to be able to form a coherent thought. Inara was really the only one who paid any attention to Cassidy. She stood walked around the table and kneeled beside Cassidy while reaching for her hand. "My name is Inara and it is a pleasure to meet you Cassidy. I must apologize for Mal here who turned this announcement into a spectacle hoping to get just this reaction, not caring for your feelings on the matter. I have known your husband for almost a year now and some of these people longer and I'm sorry to say that he never mentioned being married so you must forgive our reaction and help us to understand."

Cassidy was grateful for this beautiful woman beside her and saw so much understanding in her eyes she almost wanted to believe they could be friends…almost. "I do not fault Jayne for not mentioning me, our marriage isn't exactly a conventional one." She directed her gaze to Mal, "Captain if you don't mind I am willing to answer your questions now."

Jayne felt the shepard glaring daggers at him, so he glared back and the man just slowly shook his head at him like he had done something wrong. Why the hell was everyone turning against him and taking her side before they have even heard the story? They knew him longer gorram it they should have more loyalty, but he knew how it looked…hell if he was in their position he would probably be thinking the same thing. Here's a lovely young thing that this mercenary got lucky with at an auction and when things got tough he left her to rough it out on her own. Well they were wrong, _he_ wasn't the one that left.

Cassidy felt all eyes on her and she was never one to dance around a subject so she leaned forward and looked straight up at the captain, "I have hired you to help me retrieve my son." And here they all thought it couldn't get any more shocking.

"Where's Evan?" Jayne roared as he jumped towards the table and turned her chair so it was facing him to continue, "where's our son?" His voice had quieted but it still was going to take Cassidy some more time to completely get used to his rough man-handling ways again. Jayne's mind was reeling, not seeing Evan with Cass he just assumed he was left planet-side while she dealt with whatever trouble she had stumbled across, but now…well he didn't want to think of the possibilities.

"Did he just say their son?" Mal said to no one and in truth no one could answer him due to the state of shock they all were in, "He did just say son right? Now it's not just a wife but a gorram son?" He was almost laughing at the absurdity half not believing until he saw the confirmation in Zoes eyes.

"Why does he get everything?" Simon could barely be heard with his head face down against the table.

"Excuse me I'm still trying to reconcile the fact that Jayne, _our_ Jayne has a wife, A wife that looks perfectly normal and non-roboty and now you add this whole family thing into it and my brains going to explode so can we just slow down for a minute?" Wash suddenly felt that he was the only sane one in the room. "Maybe he kidnapped her or tricked her or like with Mal…"

"Honey…your thinking out loud" Zoe interrupted her husband.

She had it! Kaylee finally understood why this whole thing seemed kinda familiar "They're the ones in the picture, Captain…"and just as quickly she realized she had an audience and trailed off unsure how they would react to the knowledge that she was looking through Jaynes stuff.

When Cassidy noticed the young grease smeared girl wasn't going to continue she looked up at Jayne ready to give him her worst glare so that he would release her but then she saw the look in his eyes. He was in a near panic and suddenly she was contrite, despite all the anger they might feel for each other Evan was the one thing that they could love consistently together and agree on. She reached out her hand and put it over his and whispered, "He's ok…for now, you know our Evan. He can handle a lot, we'll find him." She felt absurd reassuring this giant that they were going to find him when it really wasn't up to her but him…well and his crew.

"Yes we will" Malcolm announced embarrassing Cassidy because she thought she had been quite enough not to be overheard. Apparently this crew didn't avoid eavesdropping. "Unless any of you have better ideas, or a better paying job" he punctuated his statement by throwing the bag of money onto the table but was disappointed by the lack of response, his crew were through with surprises it seemed.

Kaylee was still watching Jayne and Cassidy feeling all warm inside after the special moment they had just shared. She was thinking all sorts of romantic heart breaking possibilities. She was determined to try her best and help those two to make it work, after all why couldn't they? He had a picture of her and their son under his mattress, surely that had to mean something…

"Why don't we all let Cassidy here tell us what it is we're dealing with?" The captain grabbed a mug of coffee and sat, he knew it was going to be awhile.

"Evan at the moment is with a good friend who is responsible for caring for him and protecting him as best she can, both of their lives however are in the hands of men that are not new enemies of mine," she looked up at Jayne and then away, "or ours." She recited a story she had memorized in her head, all of it the truth. "One man can be very dangerous when he has the right weapons working for him. They call themselves the Divine Right."

Jayne was following the story lost in the same memories. His relief at hearing Evan was in good hands was short lived. They were in the hands of Marcus Crater, or that's the only name he knew him as, and he had died a violent death long ago, a death not even Cassidy completely knew about, but people like him tend to leave a legacy of enraged men. Bryant had warned Jayne that the Divine Right would make themselves known again but with no appearances or whispers Jayne had assumed they really had gotten them all, apparently it was a bad assumption.

"Their hatred began small scale with my brother and a few of his close friends but it soon escaladed out of control."

Small scale…was it ever small scale? Jayne could only remember the look in Marcus's eyes when Bryant punched him in the face and spit on him…right before he was shot. Maybe she was calling small scale the night Marcus explained the need Cassidy had to be married to him, but even that was stretching it, needless to say they had a history. A history so long that e_scaladed out of control_ was an understatement. Jayne wasn't naïve to the violence of the world but he never thought it would turn so ugly so fast. Even after all these years he heard in her voice the quiver, and why not? She had escaped and had to live with the memory of what happened to the rest of her family.

"Evan isn't really my son…or Jayne's. He was my brothers. I inherited him when he was killed since I was the only family member living and I swore that I would do everything in my power to protect him."

No, Evan wasn't their boy but hell they had spent so much time with him he called them mommy and daddy. Jayne shifted just thinking about how much he considered him his own flesh and blood. Sure Bryant was Evans father but Bryant was Jaynes best friend and a boy shouldn't be without a father, he even fostered ideas that he would legally adopt the boy…or so he thought before the choice was taken away from him when Cassidy left.

"I kept my promise until the courts were turned against me. I was told that I would have to marry and prove that I could provide a stable home for Evan or he would be taken away from me."

Marcus paid the courts to turn against her and made a sweet deal, either force her to marry him out of necessity or she gives up the child to the courts where Marcus could sweep him away, along with his fortune of an inheritance. His ultimate goal was to ruin both him and Cassidy and that was step number one.

"That's where Jayne came in." Mal knew all sorts of details were being left out but he could see that she was on autopilot and didn't want to force her but he did need her confirmation that he was following all right.

"Yes, Jayne was already doing so much for us…he was my brother's best friend and he took on the duty of watching over us."

Like hell _duty,_ Jayne felt responsible…it was not something so honorable as duty.

"I didn't want to force him so I scoured my options and came up empty handed. Our marriage was out of necessity, neither one of us was willing to let Evan go and we needed to protect him."

She had brought home several viable options; men that seemed like good choices to Cassidy but could never pass Jayne's judgment. Jayne wasn't ashamed that he found something wrong with every single damn option, it wasn't his fault that she found men that lacked. None of them could have protected her and Evan as well as him anyways.

"I took Evan to the market and when I stepped into the street we were grabbed from behind, I fought but there were six men and they quickly overwhelmed me."

"You left a big part out of your story there Cass," Jayne announced. Why couldn't she admit that she had left him? Sure they hadn't married for love or some other fanciful notion but they were making it work and were even getting closer than they ever had to something, _anything_ hell she even took Evan away from him and that was all he had left. Then it hit him…she said they were both attacked, _together_. She was here though and Evan wasn't, his breath quickened when he tried not to imagine what had gone on in the moments she wasn't describing. What she must have done or gone through to make her way here for help. He tried to act unaffected with his next statement, "we need to know where you were when you were attacked."

"I was in Mallox."

"LIKE HELL!" Jayne was furious. Did she just out right lie? No, she needed to tell them the complete truth for them to be of any help, but she hadn't been in Mallox, she couldn't have been in the very town they had set up their home, she had left him! Why would she lie? Could she have a different motive? No, Jayne trusted her with his life but if she wasn't lying then…. "When were you taken?" Jayne asked in a much calmer voice aware that his audience wasn't going to let him get away with much more loud interruptions. He was scared of the answer and its implications but he _had_ to know.

"The day Evan and I never made it home." She was staring right at him, she understood his confusion but didn't want to admit her part in it. She wasn't the only one to blame for this whole mess and she wasn't through being mad at him.

"That's impossible. You kept saying it was only temporary, that it was only a matter of time. You made good on your word, wrote me a line of nice knowing ya and left me there!" Jayne knew he was rambling but at the moment he could manage no better.

It was all true, she knew. No matter how she wished otherwise she remembered ever time telling him that once they were a little more stable they wouldn't have to be married any more. She thought she was reassuring him of his soon to be freedom but now it sounded like she was counting down until _she_ would be rid of _him_. For the first time since the beginning of their exchange she looked around the table at the rest of the people sitting there, the people she was asking to risk their lives. They could die, all of them. Who was she to ask it of them? The only person she could have rightly asked for help was Jayne and she had tried to avoid him at all costs…apparently the verse was smaller than she thought. When they had married she knew she was tying him to a woman and child and he would never leave them hanging because of his honor and friendship with her brother. In truth, she liked living with him it was almost like they were rebuilding the family she lost…that they could be a new family. She didn't want to leave but she knew she had to give him his life back so as much as possible she voiced the idea that it was temporary, that they would soon be on their way just as much to remind herself as to remind him. She thought that she couldn't afford to become too attached but wondered if that was such a bad thing. She felt despair when they forced her to write the letter to Jayne while they held a knife to Evan. She knew he would think they had finally left, but she didn't know it would have affected him this way, after all it's not like he ever came after them.

"Evan and I were held captive, they only wanted the money they kept saying. I wrote the letter to you to appease them and to keep you away then we left. The only reason I'm sure Evan is safe is because I made an ironclad agreement with their leader for my cooperation. Of course they didn't realize until later that Evan needs to be of a certain age to get the money and that the only way to get those funds released earlier is not only for him and me to be there but you as well. That is the only reason I have been released. I am supposed to find Jayne Cobb and by accident that is exactly what I have done."

Jayne didn't know if the crew was silent or not, his ears had developed a buzzing. This whole time…..she was with _them_. He knew the appetites of Divine Right. No wonder the light was gone in her eyes. And even now Evan was in their control, he felt the tremor in his hands as he gripped them in front of him. When was the last time he felt this scared? All this and she still hadn't come to him…in fact she was out right wishing that she had never run into him.

"The last time I knew of Evan and his captor's whereabouts was when they were on Destiny in the town of Dillon, maybe we should start there. Excuse me." She stood and made an exit, she didn't know where to go but she found a quite ledge away from everyone and sat to pray.


	4. Chapter 4

When Cassidy stood from the table Simon's Doctors instinct kicked in. No one else seemed to notice or they were too lost in their thoughts but she was definitely in pain. If it wasn't for his trained eye he knew he would have never noticed. She was favoring her body slightly and he almost jumped up to help her out of the chair if she didn't do it so quickly herself. Did he just imagine it? No, she was definitely stiff he noticed as she walked away from them all. He knew that she was trying to hide it so made a point to talk to her in private and see if there was anything he could do.

"She's torn and bleeding, hurting inside and out" River whispered so only Simon and Mal could hear. Mal flashed a look to Simon and he nodded confirming it and told the captain that he would look into it. While he wasn't best friends with her husband she didn't seem like the bad sort and even if she was he wouldn't leave her to suffer without some help.

Within minutes Wash, Zoe, Mal, Inara and Kaylee were the only ones left in the kitchen and were oddly silent.

"Wow" Wash muttered to himself, "can I just say wow?"

"Honey…"

"No I mean here's another beautiful woman on our ship saying all sensible like that she is married to someone on the crew and this time its _Jayne_, am I the only one all shook up over this? And her story…"

"Now that's the part that has me all shook up inside, she only gave us the barest of details but as much as she felt necessary to help us track down her son. In truth I was watching Jaynes face tell the story as much as listen to her words and if I can read that man like I think I can we just bought ourselves a lot more trouble than I first feared."

"Regardless Mal could you have made her feel any less welcome?" Inara interjected.

"Oh don't go blaming me, she was all sorts of happy to find me, it was Jayne that caused her upset."

"Have we thought about maybe that's a problem in itself? I mean Jaynes not really a gentle man maybe she's afraid of him…" Simon was just going over the possibilities in his head of how she would have gotten hurt and the idea that Jayne had something to do with causing her discomfort was unsetting.

"Now Doc I know we all have our grievances with Jayne but do you really think he would hurt his wife?"

"No way!" Kaylee couldn't believe what she was hearing, "you saw as well as me that she didn't let him push her around and anyways no ones saying they didn't want to see each other…maybe it was something else."

"Jaynes not one to hurt someone like that, I'm not saying he's the best of sorts but he's better than that. Regardless, what do we plan to do about it Captain?" Zoe wondered aloud.

"We aren't going to do anything about that, instead, if it's all the same to you we're going to turn our sights to Destiny and talk to our contacts there to try and find out what we can about this boy. Someone remind me to tell her that a picture would help."

"Captain, I told you that they were the ones in the picture we found under Jaynes mattress." Kaylee—trying to be helpful added.

"What were you guys doing looking under Jaynes mattress?" Wash asked.

"He has a picture of them?" Inara smiled at the possibilities.

"Yes," Mal said exasperated at his crew circling the subject, "but that isn't what's important, we need a more recent picture if possible Kaylee. Wash I need you to send out the bait and let me know if anyone bites…maybe we can get some information. Inara, if you want to be left somewhere while we take off, I know Destiny isn't your type of business stop."

"I will go with you, even though I won't be any help with the actual job I want to be able to see this through and maybe help where I can. It's horrible to imagine how worried she must be over him." As Inara spoke she stood to leave. They all had things to do and it was late.

"Well get that message sent Wash and then maybe we should all turn in." Mal said as he walked through the door.

Later that night, Book, in his musings, had almost literally stumbled across their new passenger and he was trying his best to figure out a nice way to sooth her troubled spirit.

"I cleaned out a room for you, I'm sorry if I made an incorrect assumption that you and your husband will not be sharing a bed but I made one available just the same." It was the Sheppard Cassidy had met in the kitchen area.

"I appreciate that Sheppard, your assumption was correct" Cassidy tried to smile up at the kind man but her smile broke too early for it to pass as sincere.

"Call me Book please." He said in a soft voice as he moved closer, almost as if he was talking to a skittish cat. "I do not know the specifics of your relationship, but I have known Jayne for awhile now and in truth I thought that we were something of friends…for him not to mention you in all the times we were together…"

Cassidy had a bitter laugh before she made space for him to sit beside her, "We aren't your standard happy married couple are we?"

As he sat beside her he wondered how many questions would be considered prying, "I know that it was a marriage of convenience but it does seem like you two do have more of a history than that."

"His family was very close to mine…in truth Sheppard when I was younger I had a bit of a crush on him and marriage wasn't the worst thing I could imagine….but then, of course, things changed."

"I don't mean to pry Cassidy but…well you're an attractive couple and well maybe I'm just a hopeless optimist but its obvious you care about one another, maybe, in time you can"

"I hate to interrupt, but I fear you are grasping straws. The reality is that we married in a desperate situation and if everything had gone well…who knows what might have happened. But things didn't go well, things didn't even start well, and if I didn't pick this crew I would have never seen Jayne again, and maybe it would have been better that way." During the course of Cassidy's speech she had stared off as if lost in times long ago.

"It is my experience that very few things happen by accident my dear. You picked this crew out of the virtual limitless amount of people that would have taken the job for less money, could that be a sign?"

Cassidy stood and turned to Book, "I sincerely hope not, can you show me to my room? I'm exhausted."

The walk to the room was silent, Book had cleaned out the empty next to Jayne sensing that she might find comfort being close to someone she knew. He left her unable to resist one final comment, "I don't know your history but I cannot ignore what I see and I cannot resist trying to help."

As Book shut the door behind him Cassidy was left to memories. Help…..well she needed lots of that Sheppard and you're welcome to try, but good luck because it will be near impossible. She laid there on the bed and closed her eyes lost in memories.

Their history was a complicated one and it had started years ago.

Jayne Cobb was a family friend…can one still be a family friend when the family no longer exists? She knew him for as long as she can remember. Her brother worked in some risky enterprises and she was always grateful that Jayne was always around to get his back. Sometimes Jayne would disappear for years at a time but she knew that he would get Bryant home alive. Jayne was a presence she didn't really understand until she was sixteen and she stood at the window in their home studying a dust cloud growing in the distance. She hadn't seen Bryant in over two years, thank god for the letters letting them know he was alive. It was even longer that she hadn't seen Jayne, he had family to look after but his presence was felt nonetheless.

She jerked up when the dust revealed two figures on horseback at full gallop. Please, _please_ she was desperate for news, they were having a hard time of it and the Cobbs weren't much better. Mattie was on the edge and she wouldn't make it if they took much longer. As the figures approached the grip on her heart tightened and she ran out the door the second recognition hit. Her skirts were cumbersome but they couldn't slow her, nothing could.

Bryant turned to Jayne and his smile couldn't be larger, "Cass is going to be running out of that door any second now."

Jayne couldn't hear Bryant over the thundering of the horses but he smiled back at his friend, he was grateful to be home. As they approached the house the door banged open and a young woman came running out. Her long hair was flying out behind her and her skirts were pulled up as she ran giving them a healthy view of her legs. They slowed their horses before they would accidentally run the woman over. She was only a few yards from them when she finally slowed and Bryant leaped off his horse and grabbed her for a fierce hug.

Jayne was confused to say the least, who was this woman? Bryant hadn't mentioned that he was seeing anyone and this girl was sparking some recognition, he searched his memories as he slid down the saddle. Then she looked straight at him and smiled. Cassidy…lord above the last time he saw her, well he couldn't remember the last time he had been this close to her. When had she…

"Jayne, hug my sister will yah? Its been awhile hasn't it?" Bryant was a welcome intrusion to his thoughts but 'awhile' was an understatement. He reached for her and hugged her if only to put a stop to his thoughts. Then again the feel of her against him was just as dangerous.

Cassidy didn't remember when he had become this handsome. No, Cassidy, bad thoughts. He is your brothers best friend and thinks of you as a sister and he's seven years older than you and your brother would kill you both, and lord did he need a shave….but she hoped he didn't go through with it. Her head fit nicely under his chin and…

"Ok Cass, let the guy go before he learns to like it," thank god for Bryant.

That was the last visit she saw them together. It was the last time she remembered feeling that happy and carefree. It would be almost a year later when they would come home in much the same way but desperate for the lives of their families.

That was a memory he tried to hold onto. Jayne was walking the gangplanks lost in the same thoughts. Cassidy was so young, so happy and carefree. She was there when her family was murdered, she had endured so much at the hands of his enemy and the one thing she had to hold onto, their son had been taken from them and he would die before giving up on getting him back.

"Torn up inside" River called up to him from below, "not your fault but you think it is, you can be a scary man, but not like that."

"Stay outta my head crazy girl" he yelled down to her. He could barely stand her on the good days but today he had no patience and decided to leave her to her crazy talk and retire to his room.

Once back in his room he tried to shake the weight on his shoulder…maybe a shower. He felt the water cascading down his back as if it was a dream. In all honesty he only felt one thing and it was the mind numbing pain in his chest that was coming close to overwhelming him. "Bryant, I never meant for this to happen" he leaned his back against the wall and closed his eyes, "forgive me brother" he whispered to himself. If the ship wasn't already short on water he would have spent the night there lost in memories and regrets, but he had things to do now and a goal, he almost couldn't remember the sensation. Evan was lost in the verse and god only knew what was happening to the boy he considered a son. He stepped out the shower no less confused than when he entered. He had failed in the one thing he considered absolute. He didn't protect her. It was a foreign feeling, he knew he wasn't a 'good guy' but he had never felt so empty inside and he had never felt so completely useless before with someone he cared so much about. Here he was gallivanting across the verse while she was battling demons and fighting for her life. "Why didn't you contact me Cass?" he asked aloud alone in his room. He would have fought hell and high water to get to her and help….but she didn't trust him enough to ask for help and instead fought by herself. Gorram it she was there when he promised to protect her! He fell back against the bed knowing the fault wasn't with her, but with him, "I failed" he murmured as he punched the wall next to him.

She had woken from a familiar nightmare and was silently trembling next door when she heard the sound of his fist hitting the wall. It was a familiar sound, Jayne had a temper for sure and when he had nothing to hit the wall served just fine. She despaired that once again she was the cause of his anger. Tears threatened to stream down her checks but she had cried enough and it wasn't helping. The night had surfaced far too many memories yet strangely enough she wasn't crying over them, it was the fact that she had endangered Jayne and this crew beyond what they thought, they could die for her mistakes.

More than anything, she didn't want to depend on anyone elses strength but she had forgotten how strong Jaynes presence was, it surrounded her. She sat on the bed and reached across and pressed her palm against the wall where she heard the sound and selfishly for the first time in a long time she remembered and took comfort in what it was like to feel any measure of being safe.


	5. Chapter 5

**I had to do some editing to my original chapters to change some minor details so if they seem a little different they are. Anyways Reviews would always be appreciated. Also if it seems to not be going anywhere it will be. **

Cassidy was always an early riser and the rest of her sleep was surprisingly peaceful, the nightmares had for some reason decided to give her a moments rest. She climbed the ladder up and out of her room before trying to make it down to the kitchen to find some food. Then maybe she would find the captain and ask what he was considering about her situation. As she entered the kitchen she saw that she wasn't alone in her quest for food. Jayne was stirring something over the stove.

He heard her enter and looked up. She had given up trying to pin her hair up and instead had let the wild curls cascade down the sides of her face, past her shoulders to settle over her breasts. She was wearing a top the hugged those curves to a point that made Jayne forget to breathe. Simple leather pants rested just over her hips and he felt like a cad for his thoughts but damn if she was going to dress that way then he sure as hell was going to notice! He cleared his throat and looked back to the soup he was mixing. "I made enough for you if you're interested."

She had stood in the doorway debating whether or not she should leave when he looked up at her and she saw the beautiful blue eyes of his she could so easily loose herself in. His blue print shirt brought them out even more and she saw the muscles in his arms move as he lifted the spoon out of the pan. The knife strapped to his hip she knew only hinted at his arsenal and it cut him an even sexier image, she was in dangerous territory. Damn it Cassidy, now isn't the time for thoughts like that…you guys have too much history. When she noticed the glare he was giving her she glared back and reaffirmed her disgruntled attitude regarding her husband. He had offered breakfast and she wasn't going to back down so she silently walked in and sat down at the table. She had at least one thing to say that she didn't want to push off.

When he joined her with two bowls of soup she broke the silence first, "I know he's safe Jayne, I'm sorry if that made you worry but"

"Of course I ruttin worry! Who know's what could be happening, what did happen…"

"Nothing!" She exclaimed as she reached over to clench his hand for added assurance, "Do you hear me? Nothing! I have to believe that because that is the only way I can maintain what is left of my sanity."

"Why didn't you tell me…" Jayne stopped talking when he saw Simon walk into the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry…I didn't think I would be interrupting anything." Simon turned to leave but Cassidy didn't want to be left alone with Jayne so she reached out.

"Please, you aren't interrupting, I'm sure you have to eat like the rest of us" Cassidy said as she as last finally started to eat her own. Of course she remembered that Jayne could make a decent enough meal, he just rarely had.

Simon went to the cabinets in search of his own meal ignoring Jaynes glare. "I don't much feel like socializing," Jayne said as he got up with his bowl and marched out.

Cassidy saw him go out of the corner of her eye and knew that they weren't done but she was also grateful for Simon for the reprieve. Now here she was trapped in a room with someone she only met yesterday and had no idea anything about and she was going to have to try to be pleasant. "I'm sorry I can't remember your name but I hope you forgive his rudeness" Cassidy said.

"Are you kidding?" Simon laughed as he turned, "all things considered that was very pleasant of him, maybe you're having a good influence." He joined her at the table asking for courage to get down to business, "I'm Simon by the way."

"Ha. That will be the day. Simon, I've known him for a long time and I don't think I've affected him a bit," Simon knew that was a lie just from how different Jayne was when she was around but he let it slide. Then silence prevailed with only the sound of them eating.

"I'm a doctor you know." He held his head down and just through that out there.

She looked over at him and froze "No," she said quietly, "I hadn't realized that."

When he looked up at her he knew that she recognized the significance and wasn't pleased. "I have healed," she announced and left it at that hoping he would too.

"For the most part, yes probably but I could probably help if you would let me examine…"

"I'm sorry Simon but some things are better left alone."

"Yes, but in my experience those things better left alone are never medical matters."

"You can't do anything for what ails me," she whispered almost to herself.

Simon saw the look in her eyes, a hopeless look, "We won't know unless you let me try."

She stared him in the eyes, looked at the young eyes that thought they could take on the world. Sure he had seen troubles, more so than probably most but he still believed he could cure the world. She found herself hoping that he would never lose that. Yet here she was trying to take that belief from him by saying that there was nothing he could do.

She had trained a little to be a nurse back home so she took care of a lot of the injuries she had accumulated herself but part of her was wondering what a real doctor could do. Then the other part of her would chime in with, how dare she get help with her wounds when Evan was probably scared this morning? Yes he was completely unharmed as part of the deal and yes she hurt in overwhelming ways at times but the scars were old and the hurt would stay for good. No miracle this young doctor could perform would be able to fix what hurt most though, but who was she to crush that look in him? Then again the questions would come when he saw the scars and more of his innocence would be lost with that…she knew when she first left that she should see a doctor but then when she left she was still bleeding, now the wounds were old and relatively healed.

"You are welcome to try Doctor but don't say I didn't warn you, and it will have to wait until after I talk to the captain." She stood with her finished meal and when she passed Simon she paused wanting to add more but deciding to let it hang…he would find out soon enough.

"Captain, Captain! I've been looking all over for you," Cassidy yelled down the hall.

"I wasn't hiding." Mal said as he stopped and turned towards his mercenaries wife. "What can I help you with?" He forced the words out, still amazed by how beautiful she was, far more so than any of the women he has ever seen Jayne with…but that wasn't his place to meddle so instead he waited for her answer.

"I wanted to know what we are going to do to retrieve my son."

"Our son" Jayne intoned from below them, he had just walked into the room when he heard their exchange," "we're on our way to Destiny now Cassidy," he answered for himself as he walked up to meet them, "Any word from Andrie, Mal?"

"That's what I was just on my way to see about, now if you two will follow me I will let you in on what I'm thinking."

They stepped in behind him and Jayne amazed himself when he backed off to let her go in first. One day she was here and already he was turning soft. That alone added a deep scowl and growl to his walk.

"No word yet Mal, but we're approaching atmo," Wash called to them when he noticed him on the walkway. He stood when he noticed Cassidy and awkwardly said, "nice to see you again Mrs. Cobb, Cassidy, um." He wasn't sure how to talk to her, he knew the situation was delicate but the weirdest thought of all that made his speech impossible was that this lovely woman was married to _Jayne_. Oh he needed Zoe here to make sense of things for him.

"Oh don't ruttin trip over your tongue fool," Jayne said when he pushed Wash back into the chair and moved to take the other pilots seat, "you act like you ain't never seen a pretty girl before."

Jayne had seen plenty of people make fools of themselves when Cassidy was around to twist them all up, and Jayne never had patience for it. They may not be the ideal married couple but damn if he was going to put up with people oogling his wife, Wash had one of his own for gorram sake.

Mal smiled despite himself, so even though they weren't on the best of terms Jayne was still possessive, well at least he recognized that his wife was pretty. Not one to get into the middle of things he more often than not left well enough alone but he was more than intrigued by this situation…and would later settle the score with Jayne. He also saw a perfect opportunity to get even with Jayne for all the crap he's pulled….well maybe later.

"We need more information but I think that the best way we're going to approach this is give them what they want."

"Excuse me?" She couldn't be hearing correctly.

"You said that they let you go in order to bring Jayne to them, well it's a real good thing you found us then because the best way to find them will be for you to meet them where you were supposed to, with Jayne of course."

She was stunned, no he couldn't think that she was just going to give them what they wanted.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Jayne added.

That idiot she called her husband was making matters worse by not thinking, she turned her rage towards him, "of course you fool would think that's a good idea, now I see why you're with this crew, you all think alike!" She turned towards mal, "don't you understand that I left determined to give them nothing NOTHING more than they already have taken, I just want Evan back. I won't go back to them, I wont!" her hands were visibly shaking and she was nearing panic.

Jayne awkwardly stood unsure of what he should do, Mal reached out to her but Jayne grabbed her before he could touch her and hauled her against his side. "Listen Cass, I want Evan back too but we need to find the people and you know where they will be," he looked pointedly at Mal when he said next, "you won't be going anywhere with them but you have to make the call and I will be the one they have to concentrate on anyways."

"You won't be alone," Mal added.

She was calling herself a coward but took comfort in their words, Jayne would be with her and he would make damn sure that they would take no more of what belonged to them. They would inflict no more pain and they would get their son back. She extracted herself from under Jaynes arm. "I will go along with whatever you think is best since that is what I'm paying you for, but right now I have an appointment."

She knew she was running away before she disgraced herself further, she had to, she just hoped that none of the men in that room noticed. Mal almost followed her but instead he helped Jayne make the decision to follow her for him, "now I wonder what she would have an appointment for." Of course he knew she was probably going to see Simon…but Jayne didn't. He watched the wheels turning until Jayne just grunted and walked out. Now all Mal had to do was hope that he was bright enough to figure out what he was hinting at.

The only thing Jayne knew was that whatever she had run off to probably was something he aught to know about. What did she think she was doing? The ship wasn't that big how is it she was already out of sight? He had things to do and now he was chasing after a woman who seemed to make a habit out of leaving him hanging. With that, he started his search.


	6. Chapter 6

Cassidy saw the cold sterile room that had to be where Simon did his work and a shiver worked up her spine. God she hated doctors but she hadn't been to one in…well she couldn't remember the last time and figured she was due, and if she was going to die anyways might as well find out it wasn't from her own body betraying her. She had an instinct that never failed and she trusted this young doctor, enough to throw her pain and failures on him.

"Doctor?" She called out as she leaned into the room from the doorway. She spotted him squatting down on the floor putting away supplies in a low cupboard. His smile was relieved when he saw her.

"I thought you really wouldn't come."

"Crossed my mind, but you can't do any harm I figure."

"Do you want to sit while you tell me what's bothering you right now?"

"It might take awhile Doc….by the way the whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing holds true on this ship right?"

"Of course, but your husband…"

"Doesn't need to know" Cassidy interrupted. Simon was baffled. He knew that Jayne wasn't easy to get along with but still they were married and she shouldn't feel the need to hide things from her own husband, unless his suspicions were true and if anything that made Simon hate Jayne even more. However, he would never violate a patients trust especially since Cassidy seemed as if she was going to bolt any second. Therefore he wouldn't pry into personal questions unless Jayne made it necessary or Cassidy doesn't clear his name.

"Understood," he said with a nod towards the chair that would recline for her exam.

"Do you have curtains or something or will your sister stare the whole time?"

Simon looked up to see River looking curiously through the window studying, "we can frost the windows," he added while he did just that, "would you like to change and lie back for me?"

Not particularly she thought but she watched him turn his back and, taking a deep breath she did what he asked and watched as he did what doctors do, his eyes held concern first when he heard her breathing and they grew even more so further into the exam as he pressed her abdomen and she practically jumped off the table.

"I think there's fluid in your lungs not being cleared due to a broken rib pressing against your left one, I will need to move the bone into place and wrap your torso," his hand had begun to tremble when he saw the scars and he knew it was only going to get worse. In fact the only good news, if it could be called that, was that these wounds were relatively recent and in no way could be caused by any contact with Jayne so he could stop blaming him.

"Whatever you say doctor."

"I understand if you aren't comfortable with the rest of the exam but I'm going to need you to relax for me."

Cassidy nodded and watched as he moved down, the examination, while making her nervous wasn't so bad due to her confidence in him, but once he asked her permission and proceeded and she felt the cold metal against her she jumped up and pulled away, "No!"

Simon jerked back shocked at her reaction, he knew that she had suffered trauma but he wasn't aware that it still haunted her, that the feel of the instrument pushed her memories to surface that she had wanted to forget forever. At their surprise they didn't notice Jayne enter until he spoke.

"Gorram it Simon what are you doing in a locked room with my wife?" He growled as he marched over to him grabbing him by the front of his collar. He had seen enough, the windows were frosted his wife was barely clothed and was straddling the exam table, they might have never been lovers but he wasn't going to stand by for this! Hell Simons face alone spoke volumes and to Jayne it all said the same thing, guilty.

Leave him alone Jayne!" Cassidy was already off the table and grabbing Jaynes arm that held Simon, "he was just being a good doctor by seeing if I was ok."

Jayne looked around at the equipment and back to Simon, "why do you have that look if that was the only thing going on here?"

"Your wife has suffered severely and I didn't know…"

"Confidentiality Simon!" Cassidy interrupted wondering if she had misplaced her trust.

"What's wrong with her?" Jayne asked with a calmer tone to his voice, when Simon remained silent he turned to Cassidy, "What happened Cass?"

"I explained what happened at the meeting Jayne"

"No you told us what you think we needed to know but in case you forgot I'm your husband and have a right to know what's ailing you, I took a vow!"

"It's a little late to play hero Jayne!" Cassidy felt close to tears and she wanted to hurt Jayne because he was making her hurt just by forcing her to remember, and she knew she had achieved her goal when Jayne lost his grip on Simon and a darkness colored his usually bright eyes, "you want the truth Jayne? Go ahead Simon, explain the situation to him."

Simon looked back and forth not sure what to do but his doctors instinct kicked in and he began to list what he considered as complete a diagnosis that he could get, "Cassidy seems to have some wounds that had trouble healing including two broken ribs that are irritating her lungs and causing fluid, likely blood to leak into them, I have noticed older fractures in her right hand and arm as well as trauma to the shoulder and knees." He paused to steady himself. He could no longer look at Cassidy as he listed what he knew she didn't even suspect he had found out to a man that he had considered unbreakable who also seemed to fall apart before him. "If I were to guess I would say that she was violently beaten and raped and due to the amount of scaring…" he stopped when Jayne walked past him and out of the room, noticeably slower than when he entered and not quite as loud.

"Thank you doctor, you are of course correct." Cassidy commented.

"I'm sorry…"

"No apologies please, you didn't cause any of it and Jayne is always irritable now tell me what we can do so that I may be able to walk without this pain and sleep in peace?"

"Um well I can work on what I have found but if you want it to be complete…"

"I was told of the damage that has been done there, I am no longer able to have children if I can believe them but until the day that I can hope for a miracle or otherwise lets focus our attention elsewhere ok?"

He nodded sensing pain that he would never be able to reach, and it wasn't his area to try anyways, he was just a doctor not her best friend…or husband.

"Well I'm going to need help to set the bone…"

"I can help," Zoe surprised them all by walking in just at that moment causing Simon to realize that he hadn't made the room soundproof when he frosted the windows, by now the whole ship probably knew the extent of Cassidy's injuries and he looked to her in silent apology.

She knew from both of their looks what had happened and glanced away, so much for her trying to forget, she laid on the table and waited for them to begin.

When Jayne had heard his worst fears listed he had become more and more sick to the stomach, he wasn't trying to be a hero like Cassidy accused, he just was trying to find out exactly how badly he had failed, and it couldn't have been worse. He looked at her while Simon talked and didn't know how she had survived, she was such a small thing…he should have been there right beside her, but damn it all she hadn't gone to him for help so it shouldn't be his responsibility, but that was no comfort to him.

When he walked out of the room he saw the hallway full of crew with somber faces and knew that they all bore witness, and he wanted to beat the lot of them. Instead he glared his way a few steps past them and stopped. God he was a coward. He hadn't kept his one promise to his best friend and here he was running from his sister. Like hell he was going to fail a second time, he turned and walked into the room as Zoe was grabbing Cassidy's shoulders. Silently he looked her in the eyes and walked over—to her credit she didn't fight him and instead walked out closing the door.

Cassidy had her eyes closed but she knew the feel of his hands over her shoulders. That she knew anywhere. "I'm ready Simon" she said and a moment later fire exploded in her stomach as she tried to lurch but Jaynes grip wouldn't falter. They all heard the bone slide into place and she hid her face to wipe the silent tears that had escaped, thankfully to no ones notice. Jayne helped her sit and turned away when Simon began to wrap her midsection.

He had seen her naked a few times, hell they lived together it was bound to happen. The last time was right before she left she was swimming in the lake by their house and he had gone tracking a deer when he came across her clothes hanging from a tree branch. When he saw her he was mesmerized for the whole of her bath, his eyes slid over ever part of her form and grew to uncomfortable amounts of appreciation. When he felt the stirrings of arousal he knew he was in trouble but it was his wife and he felt no guilt, just impatience that things between them weren't moving anywhere. It wasn't like he didn't want them to but he was always reminded that she didn't whenever she brought up the temporary part of their situation. That and he saw Bryant in his mind telling him she deserved better, and she did, so he fought it and left her alone.

Now was a different story, when Cassidy moved to take off her gown she didn't ask him to turn but one glance of the swell of her breasts caused him to regardless, he was a cad to think thoughts of bed when she was just on her way to recovery, there were whores for that sort of thing. He waited for her to dress and silently made his departure, they still had a job to do and if he could keep his mind off his wife for more than a second he might actually be of some help in completing the job.


	7. Chapter 7

Wash had maneuvered them to land perfectly, which meant in an area that Serenity could easily be hidden. Once Mal gave the signal the rest of the crew would spread out and see what they could find. He and Kaylee would stay with the ship to make the constant necessary repairs that had been postponed when they found Cassidy. Her story had spread fast among the crew, they didn't have much privacy amongst themselves when it came to their personal lives and Jayne was no exception so their interest in her only expanded. True, she was paying them handsomely for the job but that wasn't why even Book and Inara were in on the proceedings. No, now that they knew enough of the story, all of them were determined to help in whatever way they could.

Cassidy lead the way, this place didn't really hold good memories for her—the understatement of the century. However, she felt far more stable coming than when she had been leaving and she didn't want to admit that it was because she felt the strong presence of Jayne and his companions beside her.

Destiny was a shady planet to say the least and the area she had guided them to was likely the worst. Mal, in all his honesty, tried to demand that she and Inara stay with the ship but Cassidy had a fighting spirit and had to see it through, Inara was another thing altogether. She felt a kinship with Jaynes wife and didn't want to leave her. That meant that Mal spent most of the time trying to dirty her appearance up some and glaring at anyone within touching distance of the companion.

"I understand how this crew works only partly," Cassidy said to Inara turning from Jayne while trying to feign ignorance of his large presence keeping everyone in the city at bay. They knew everything about her and she felt it was time that they returned the favor. "I understand some of the relationships but I don't understand your part here or Rivers."

Inara was startled, comprehending for the first time exactly how much of their experiences Cassidy was new too. Rivers story wasn't hers to tell so she just explained that Simon and her were siblings with a long history and that she needed Simons medical help. When it came to herself though she was frank, "I am a companion and despite what you might hear on Serenity I do not whore."

Cassidy's eyes widened, "wow, I mean I've never met one before…I've heard and honestly never really understood, but now that I've met you I see the marked difference between the likes of you and the, um, others back where I'm from that aren't registered" she paused trying to phrase the next part just right, "I don't understand how someone would want to do your job, but maybe you'll explain it to me someday?" She whispered. Inara was so pleased that she didn't think her job repulsive and only had open curiosity she didn't notice Jayne eavesdropping, but she did notice him grab Cassidy's arm to pull her away for a word.

"Why do you want to know about what Inara does Cass?"

She looked up at him and decided to be honest, "because I understand that there is enjoyment enough for women like her to seek that career, and I don't understand it. From my experience that is foreign concept to me." She left him in his confusion to have a word with Mal.

"Don't worry Jayne," Inara said with no small amount of sarcasm, "I'll not sully her with my 'whore' ways. Give her the freedom to ask her questions."

Looking at the companion Jayne couldn't let his question go unasked, "are you going to…you know, show her?"

Inara was more than intrigued with that question. Where did Jaynes feelings lie, was it simple curiously to help with his solo time in his bunk or was that a tinge of jealousy in his eye?

"Jayne, we have both learned the hardships she has endured so I don't see how you could ask me that but, regardless, why do you care?"

"She's my wife."

"If I'm not mistaken you have had plenty of others besides her, why at Mandy's alone…"

"That's not the point!" Jayne was getting upset and he couldn't express his frustration.

"I don't think you understand that the physical injures she has endured may not compare to the pain of the heart, it is a shame that she can't even turn to her husband for comfort—to remind her that lovemaking isn't a thing of pain," an old thought shook her, "wait, unless you only added to that image in her head." She didn't want to believe Jayne would act so cruelly to his wife but Simon had said some of the scars were old…but just how old?

"I never touched her like that!" His rage at the thought leaked into his voice.

Relieved, Inara misunderstood and took that to mean that he just wasn't violent in the bed, not like they never shared one like he meant. He was already insulted that she would think that he would hurt Cass, hell even thinking about what was done to her made his fist clench in inexpressible fury.

Inara shook her head and chose to remain silent, let the lug wonder and learn to appreciate the wife he has ignored for far too long. She never considered herself a matchmaker but she was a trained companion and knew when there was love between people. She didn't want to believe Jayne and Cassidy to be a lost cause, surely even after everything they should be able to make it work. Then again, after seeing the confusion across Jaynes face, maybe she's just too good for him.

Soon the group was lead to a dark building that looked completely unoccupied except for the two men guarding the door.

"This is it," Cassidy paused further down on the other side of the street.

"Are those two one of the ones responsible?" Cassidy didn't look to Jayne when she replied in the negative otherwise she would have noticed him pulling his gun.

"Well regardless, they're in our way, maybe we can get some information from them." After his statement Mal nodded to Zoe and they made quick work with the guards removing them from their posts and asking the necessary questions…and asking again. While they were busy, Inara watched to see if anyone was coming and Cassidy guided Jayne to the very room of her imprisonment.

Jayne wondered if she was even aware that she was breathing quicker and that her hands were trembling. He reached to grab her hand and move her to stand behind him and didn't let go. She pointed to the door and they proceeded. It wasn't occupied, in fact it looked exactly the way it did when she had last seen it and it caused her to stagger back…and hit the wall of Jayne who had instantly moved to support her and remind her that she wasn't alone.

"This it?" he whispered.

There was the table and chairs and on the far side and the ring on the floor that she had been tied to. "I was there," she pointed.

He followed her finger to the ring chained to the floor and held his breath trying to pretend that she meant the table and chairs next to it but knew otherwise. She wasn't a guest, she was kept a prisoner. He asked what he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to, "where was Evan?"

She glanced up, hoping that the visual as well as physical proof that she wasn't alone would help keep the tremors from her voice, "safe…away."

Her expression made him want to hit something but he couldn't since there was no one to focus his anger on. "Why aren't they here Cass?"

"I'm early, but I thought they would be here anyways, I still have a week until I was supposed to meet them." She talked like she was in a trance and that was exactly the way she felt so she forgot her hesitation for a moment, "I was terrified Jayne, I still am. I don't think I can ever think about it without feeling so scared. I know that makes me a coward but I never wanted to come back here, I never wanted to face them again."

"You're no coward Cass." He was never good with words but that never bothered him before that moment. He wanted to say something comforting but was at a loss. Fists always talked for him to help him through tough situations before, now his large hands proved inadequate. "Hell, you're here now aren't you?"

Her mind was working at a snails pace, always had in this place. She just wanted Evan back, she wanted to hold him in her hands again, she wanted them to be safe. Following Jayne out of the room that held so many bad memories for her she wondered, again, if that would ever be possible.


	8. Chapter 8

Telling the rest of the crew that they would have to wait wasn't that hard, they had Cassidy's advance to live off of after all and while Destiny might not be the most entertaining of places they would make do for a week. No, the hard part would be not tipping their prey off to their motives for being there…but that would be handled in due time. There was plenty of unresolved business to deal with in the meantime.

Cassidy was still a bit shook up and disappeared for the rest of the day. She could feel the clock ticking and hated only being able to pray for her son when she wanted to do so much more. She asked for privacy even when Inara approached her with a sympathetic look. Cassidy didn't need sympathy, she needed to forget and try not to think about the fact that she was at the one place she had tried so hard to escape from. But she would never be free…not as long as they had Evan.

Jayne was in a whole new world of confusion, he was tired of feeling like there was nothing he could do. Sure he was handy with a gun but right then there was really no one he could point one at. He was in a killing mode and no one was giving him the opportunity to expel some of that anger so instead he took it out on the punching bag he set up in the common room.

When Book walked in it wasn't hard to see the state of mind Jayne was in, the punching bag was threatening to explode any second so he quickly made his presence known, "It seems to me that your wife could use a bit of comfort right about now."

Jayne didn't falter in his exercise when he responded, "not from me."

"If not from her husband, then from who?"

Jayne stopped and looked over at Book, "would you quit saying that, you make it sound like we're a real married couple."

"Aren't you?"

"Hell I don't know what we are."

"I understand that there is probably a lot of trouble in the marriage department right now and that's understandable," Book sat as he was talking, "I don't endorse you breaking you vows with her for other women, but"

"What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Now Jayne, I know your marriage was one of convenience but that doesn't excuse all those extra-marital relationships I've seen you engage in."

"I aint done nothing wrong in that area preacher."

"I'm sure your wife feels differently."

"I never vowed to be faithful! Hell I only made one, and that wasn't it. Gorram it I never touched anther female while we were together, but then she left…well hell that says a lot when we were never even together that way."

Now it was Books turn to be confused, "you mean to say that you and Cassidy never had sexual relations?"

"I guess in fancier words yes and I would say my actions in that case were just about saint-worthy."

"Jayne don't you understand what that means?" Book was just then beginning to understand their relationship and the astonishment showed, "your marriage isn't valid."

"What?!"

"It could very easily be challenged and proved void in a court of law."

"All because I haven't sexed her?"

With a disapproving look for his language Book continued, "well that would have in a way completed the union and, as it stands, I don't know anyone who would call your marriage real. I hadn't realized that you two avoided each other so much…"

"It wasn't avoiding, we were just pushed into marriage…and she was having a hard time of it losing her family and all…and well I didn't want to push her into anything else…we were just getting close when everything happened."

Book thought Jayne was being very telling the way he was talking in circles, in fact he had never seen the boy so frustrated with his actions and now he understand why they acted the way they did together. He knew that Jayne had strong feelings for the girl, maybe even loved her. They were in a mess and if Cassidy was ever able to work out her problems then he wished them the best. Jayne was a good boy under it all and he deserved some happiness and while he didn't know Cassidy as long he knew Jayne he believed that after what the poor girl had been through she deserved some too. However, that didn't mean he wouldn't stir up the water a bit.

"Well in that case Jayne it would be very easy to secure a divorce I mean since your marriage wont really be needed anymore once this mess is cleaned up…" he stopped when he noticed that Jayne wasn't paying any attention and was in fact walking out on him…so much for that idea.

Little did Book know that his words did in fact have the desired effect. What Book had said had thrown new thoughts to add to the mess going through Jayne's mind. He had paid attention alright perhaps a little too well. Divorce? Who the hell had said anything about divorce? He knew when he married Cassidy that it was only temporary, that it wasn't a real marriage and he knew that she deserved the right to pursue one of her own choosing but once the idea was actually made possible by an all too willing preacher it made him feel even worse. Here he was wanting to hold onto something that didn't even really exist, that he had ignored existed for all this time. Cassidy did deserve to find a man who was right for her, who would protect her and love her, deserved to marry that man and live happily ever after like in some fanciful story but he didn't know if he was willing to let her go. In their time apart he had tried not to believe that she had found someone new, ignorance to him was bliss. Besides, the thoughts would have driven him up the wall anyways.

Pushing the doubts aside, Jayne decided to put his fighting mood to good use so he went to find Mal. Finding him alone in the bay he asked, "are you willing to help me find some answers?" If anyone would be it would be Mal and while Jayne hated asking for anything, he didn't consider it asking for help…just asking if he wanted to get a drink.

Mal looked over at his merc and studied the big man for a long minute, "well I haven't been banged around in awhile, why not?" Mal didn't try to veil the sarcasm, he knew what Jayne really wanted to do and couldn't deny him the right.

Leave it to Mal to completely understand, he told Zoe to watch the ship while they were gone and to make sure everyone stayed on board…especially Cassidy since she probably didn't want to know what they were going to do.

"Well Jayne you have a place in mind or are we just going to stroll around yelling what we want to the world?" Mal asked once they were off the ship and on their way.

"I know where we're going." And he did, he knew all too well.


	9. Chapter 9

"How long have you loved him?" Cassidy jerked at the question. Her and Inara were sharing tea at the kitchen table and she felt like the question had come out of nowhere. She couldn't pretend to be surprised, she knew she couldn't hide something like that from Inara, but it was one thing she wanted to ignore for a little bit more.

"Love? What makes you think I love him?"

"Because when you first came to this ship you looked like you had no hope for anything and yet when you're around him I see light come into your eyes even when you're arguing. Because you move close to him when someone forces you to remember something you don't want to and because you spent so long trying to protect him from the people that hurt you."

"Well then I guess an honest answer to your question: for longer than I can rightly remember, but I'm not sure if love is the right word for it, I mean can someone like me love anymore?"

"Oh everyone can love Cassidy and everyone's confused by it at the same time so that shouldn't be what's bothering you…or holding you back."

Cassidy looked Inara in the face and saw compassion in her gaze. "It's just…he seems like a hard man to even like sometimes but in many ways he has been my one constant and I don't know where I would be today if it wasn't for him."

Inara put her arms around Cassidy trying to offer some comfort, "I believe that there are people that work so well together that they sometimes make it difficult for themselves just because if they didn't it would be too easy."

"Like you and Captain Reynolds." Cassidy knew that she was on touchy ground but she wasn't the only one having problems with the man who held possession of her heart.

Inara's hand stilled on Cassidys head and decided to be honest, "Something like that, but whereas I believe you and Jayne will make it eventually I do not think it's possible in my situation."

"Ha! Mal wants you and while I don't blame Jayne for wanting someone else I know that that is how it is. I just wish things weren't so complicated."

Inara chose to let the Mal topic drop, "Why do you think he wants someone else?"

"I knew him when he was young, hell even when we lived in the same house he had some semblance of happiness…but now he's so different. I know he's mad at what they did to me—what man wants a woman that's been with other men like that?"

"With that logic then I don't see how you can believe anyone can possibly want me, especially Malcolm Reynolds."

"That's completely different! What you do is exotic and beautiful, nothing at all like what I have known. I wouldn't know the first thing about pleasing a man."

Now Inara was more than confused, "You don't think you pleased him when you were married?"

"How could I have? The closest thing we got to was a kiss and that was only once." It was odd sharing information with someone for the first time. Their kiss hadn't been a secret but so much had happened that she never had anyone to talk to like this. It was a kiss that held her sane in some of her darker moments even with the tinge of sadness, but that was a memory for another time.

The companion knew she was putting pieces together but she didn't quite know to what yet. At least her information explained Jaynes sexual 'freedom', but that just added more questions, "Wait he kissed you on the lips?"

"Of course, where else would he kiss me?" Cassidy knew it was a stupid question the second she saw Inaras eyes grow wide. Well she couldn't help her inexperience in matters like that…as much as she wished otherwise.

"I'm sure one day you'll know." Seeing Cassidys doubting expression made her push on, "because of what happened to you, you think Jayne keeps his distance?"

"It's reasonable," Cassidy replied to defend her stance.

"Oh Cassidy…listen, even I have noticed Jaynes sometimes distant behavior towards you but considering its Jayne who is rarely anything but detached, in this case he is clearly involved. Either way, I can guarantee it isn't because he thinks at all low of you."

"I don't understand, what else could it be?"

"Jayne blames himself for what happened to you, he saw himself as your protector and in every definition of the word he feels like he has failed you."

"That's ridiculous, the only reason Evan and I are even alive is because of him."

"Let me tell you what's ridiculous: the two of you. You believe he is mad at you because of what you were forced to do and he believes you're mad at him for failing you when in reality what you both want is each other. It is as simple as that."

"I wish I could believe anything is as simple as that."

"Then answer me this Cassidy, why would a man, who you think isn't at all interested in you, kiss you on the lips and not any of the other women he has been with?" At the hurt expression Inara realized too late that Cassidy might not have known about Jaynes activities and tried to apologize, "I'm sorry I didn't realize…"

Of course Cassidy knew Jayne would be with other women but most of the hurt came from the fact that she had pushed him away and that he had shared what Inara had called 'an act of love' with other women. Even though Cassidy knew that the act could be otherwise, she was jealous of something she had never had, and then she remembered something, "why wouldn't he kiss them on the lips?"

When Inara saw her expression change she wanted to make up for her mistake by adding reassurance, "my bet is that it is because he loves you and not them."

"We both know that Jayne isn't that romantic," Cassidy shared a smile with Inara over the thought.

"Maybe he'll surprise us both then."

**Sorry that it's so short but I didn't want to attach it to what comes next. I want to explain also that I know that I'm leaving a lot of the characters out but it's a big cast and this story really only focuses on Cassidy and Jayne. However, I would like input on whether or not certain ideas should be more developed or if I left anything out or hanging. This story has been overwhelming my head so I'm trying to get it all down but hate the thought that I'm leaving things confusing. Thanks for the support. **


	10. Chapter 10

Later that night….

Cassidy was making up something to eat in the kitchen with Kaylee when she heard the announcement over the sound system, "Simon we would appreciate your services in the infirmary." It was Zoes calm voice and Cassidy knew something was wrong. Jayne and Mal had been gone the better part of the day supposedly getting supplies but that feeling went through her again that someone she loved was in trouble and that man was likely Jayne waiting for Simon. Without a word she walked out of the kitchen and heard Kaylee following behind her.

Cassidy didn't know she was running until she had to jerk to a stop at the door and found herself short of breath. Her worry had only grown in the time that she took to get there. Seeing Jayne on the table didn't reassure her. She pushed past whoever was blocking the door and went to his side and took in the blood spilling onto the table from his leg. In a glance she knew it wasn't fatal but approved of the way Simon was going about stitching it up. In cases like this, she was grateful for her medical education.

"Jayne you fool" she said as she handed Simon the tools he needed without waiting for him to ask for them.

"Hey now, it's not like I asked to get hit."

"Knowing you that's probably exactly what you did"

"It was kinda close Jayne you gotta give her that." At the sound of Mals voice Cassidy noticed for the first time the room crowded with crew and she grew furious at her worry over this man on the table and over their reticence, they were supposed to tell her what was going on. This involved her damn it!

"I would appreciate speaking to my husband in private."

"I'm almost done," Simon said as he reached for the disinfectant but Cassidy took it from his hands and said.

"I can finish, trust me I have plenty of experience dealing with his messes." She gave him a look to help him understand that she was grateful but needed him to leave.

"Now wait a minute," Mal began but was hushed when Kaylee reached out and grabbed his arm to pull him out of the room with the others and he gave in only when he realized that he could still watch the fireworks from the windows…and apparently the rest of the crew had the same idea.

Cassidy turned to her husband not caring that they could see just that they couldn't hear. She began to rub the disinfectant into his calf for a whole minute before he spoke.

"You never cared for my wounds before."

"Because you never let me."

"Well if you're going to yell at me you might as well get it over with. I've heard it all before about how I need to take care of myself blah…" he trailed off when he noticed the glassiness of her eyes and learned to shut-up before he made it worse.

"You should have told me." And when she noticed he was about to speak she covered his mouth with her fingers and continued, "for a long time I thought that I was in this alone…and then you came back into my life and I can't live knowing that I'm causing the hurt of the only two people left that I can call family. I need to know what's going on, Evan is my son too Jayne and I don't appreciate being left out and left to wonder."

While she was talking she had removed her fingers from his mouth and he was thankful for one less distraction so he could speak. She was already driving him crazy the way she was touching his leg, he didn't need more stimulus, "It's my job to protect you, not the other way around."

"I'm the one….my god Jayne what have you done to this leg?" He looked down and noticed that she had found the scars from his other wounds.

"Leg seems to attract bullets, harpoons, and knives all the time."

"You're lucky it still supports you." She was in doctor mode and he knew it as she pulled his leg over and started tearing his pants even more to see more of the injures done to him. She was completely unaware of what she was doing to him. Hell she was getting into dangerous territory there and didn't even know it, but Jayne did. She was sitting far too close to his privates and her hands had already reached high on his thigh before, with a groan, he had to reluctantly pull her hand away. Hell when did he become such a gentlemen. Only then did she realize what she was probably doing to him and her face turned crimson. "I'm sorry."

"Gorram it don't apologize!"

Jayne was avoiding looking at her and while she was still mad at him she wanted answers not avoidance. She took a moment to finish wrapping up his leg but had to add one more thing, "you do need to take care of yourself."

"Man in my work isn't meant to live long anyways." What a thing to tell her and he knew it the second the words were out of his mouth.

"You think you have to remind me of the reality of death?" She didn't let him respond, "you were there Jayne, you were the only other person that was there that survived to see another day. I know lives can be cut short and I'll be damned if I ever stop caring about them being cut too short." She paused to pull her thoughts together, "when you're gone how will I find Evan?"

Well if that wasn't a confounding thought, "you weren't after finding my help anyways, you wanted Mal's!"

"I went after a captain I was told would get the job done! I wanted one thing to stay safe and out of my poisoned life. There was no way in hell they were going to take you as well! I didn't know where you were anyways and I wanted it to stay that way."

His mind zeroed in on one statement, "your life isn't poison Cassidy."

"Really?" she almost laughed as she looked straight into his eyes, "I saw my family murdered in front of my eyes, every single person I ever cared for! Then when I only have Evan left he is taken and lives what no other child should. Everyone in my life has been destroyed or is being threatened too and yet here I am, free to poison this whole crew if they let me." She hated to cry, especially in front of Jayne who she had always hid it from but she couldn't stop the tears coursing down her checks through the whole of her speech. Jayne hadn't released her hand but she pulled it away from him and he used it now to pull her to him and wrap his arms around her. It felt so natural but he felt so inept and unable to do anything to help her. He looked past her head and noticed that somewhere alone the course of their discussion the rest of the crew had decided they deserved privacy, but now he wished someone were here to tell him what to do.

It ripped his chest open to see her cry so he held her to his chest trying to calm her, "you could have called me for help, any of the waste station contacts knew where I was, I left word…you could have contacted me in a second."

"You?" She pulled away from him in exasperation, "if you wanted or cared about finding us all you had to do was look and we were there."

"I didn't think you wanted to be found! I thought you had left me! "

"And you let me go…" he was silent, he knew all the wrongs he had committed but it was getting harder and harder to face them all and here she was speaking them outright, "You didn't come Jayne, I waited and you didn't come." Cassidy was ashamed to admit it but she had hoped beyond hope that he would discover something was wrong or come after her despite everything…but he hadn't and it had broken her heart.

"You asked me why I would risk myself this way," he said as he gestured towards his leg, "I never thought you were in danger, I thought you were trying to escape me. It eats me up something fierce knowing that I broke the one promise I made to you Cass, I couldn't protect you when you needed me to and I'm doing a pathetic job of trying to make up for that. I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness or to even hope that I ever deserve it but we've both made a mess out of this situation and well…well dammit I know I ain't no hero from no storybook but I'm trying!"

Cassidy was astonished to say the least. She had no idea that he had blamed himself so much for what happened to them even though she was just as much to blame…if not more so.

"It wasn't your fault, I was so angry at forcing Evan and I on you that I only focused on how to live without you always being there. I realized how much of an idiot I was when I found myself wishing for you to come even though I spent the whole time with you pushing you away." She had to pause to collect herself, "I couldn't find the strength to tell Evan though. He kept saying that Daddy would come and I didn't have the heart to tell him that you probably wouldn't…all because of me."

There was the burning sensation in his chest again when she mentioned Evan and he had to speak his piece, "Just thinking about what they did to you puts me in a murdering mood, I want to kill someone" he left out the part of that someone mostly being him, "I wasn't there but I'll be damned if I don't fight now. You'll probably be fixing a lot more injuries but I hope to cause plenty as well. I don't want you believing I wouldn't have come in a second if I knew, hell I would have fought the world."

"I know….but I couldn't, even now I hate to involve you, there's been so much blood spilled…"

"My family is involved 'course I'm involved." Cassidy couldn't help to feel the corners of her mouth lift, she knew that he wouldn't rest until Evan was safe and she was beyond reassured…and grateful, but she had no idea how to let him know that. She hadn't realized until then how much she wanted to hear him say that they were still a family…despite everything.

"I really am grateful for the help."

Here she was again acting like he had a choice in the matter, but of course he didn't say that out loud, it would probably make her feel more guilty. He didn't call himself an expert on women but he knew Cass and he didn't want to make a bad situation worse. There was still one thing that he had to know, "is he really alright Cassidy?"

She looked straight into his drop dead baby blues and told him all she knew even though it would probably kill them both to put it into words, "I know that he wasn't physically harmed when I was forced out, I focused their aggression…elsewhere. I know he wasn't completely untouched by seeing me in the state I was in but I hid the worst from him. He's still young after all…" She took a deep breath and continued, "Before I left I made a deal to guarantee his safety." As much as Jayne wanted, needed to know details about that he let it slide without questions…for now. "I'm sure that if we can just get him back he will be fine…you know Evan he can bounce back from anything."

"What about his mom?"

She couldn't avoid the look in his eyes but it tore into her so much that she couldn't hold it for long and had to look away when she answered, "its takes time for all wounds to heal."

"You didn't tell the doctor everything."

"No, nor do I intend to, my wounds will heal just like yours have. You forget, I was studying to be a nurse…" 'Before' was the word left unsaid, everything good was from 'before.' Jayne didn't tell her that he meant the wounds inside because he already knew the answer: there would be no conventional healing for those wounds.

All the things left unsaid.

Cassidy knew what had happened to her while they were apart but she was curious as to what he did after they were separated, "What did you do Jayne?"

He didn't like the change in subject but decided to amuse her, she had answered their questions after all, "I found work. I only stayed in the house a few more days and then left contacts for you to find me if needed and left. I was in some pretty rough crowds before Mal bought me off."

"You always were a good shot."

"yah well…I had no reason to stay in one place…Mal kinda…well when he came along I was holding him at gunpoint and well he kinda reminded me of Bryant."

Cassidy smiled, "you two always did like to hold each other at gunpoint…I miss him, I miss all of them but at times like these I always could turn to him…"

"yah…well I know I ain't Bryant, Cass but there's still me and I'm not going to leave you hanging."

It was times like that with his simple words that squeezed her heart just so. She reached over and grabbed his hand that always seemed to swallow hers up, "I know, thank you Jayne."

When he squeezed her hand in response she gained the courage to ask one last question, "why did you never kiss them on the lips?" The question came out of nowhere but for some reason she needed to know.

Taken aback, it took Jayne a minute to realize what her and Inara must have been talking about while they were gone and it wasn't a pretty thought. He looked down at their clasped hands and wondered why he felt quilty, there was no reason to, but it wasn't exactly a topic men discussed with their wife. Quietly he asked, "why does it matter?"

"Well obviously it does to you to make an issue of it so I was curious, I mean of all things to hold back on…"

"It didn't feel right," Jayne interrupted. "You know I didn't take any other women when we were together!"

"I know, it was unnecessary but I did appreciate it."

"They were only for sex, not for loving. Kissing confuses things." Jayne thought he was making perfect sense but it wasn't as clear to Cassidy.

"So why did you kiss me that night at the fair?"

Defensive Jayne had just about enough of this conversation, "why did you kiss back!?"

Cassidy looked to her lap and brought the memory to surface that she had never let go. Evan was running through the field and Cassidy, as always, was watching over him. She knew she had a habit of being over-protective but after all that had happened she couldn't help it. Of course, she felt better since Jayne was also watching over the two of them. Their small town was having a celebration since a young couple was being married and they had gone to give Evan a fun night out. Different men had asked Cassidy to dance and she had after making sure Evan was safe. It was wonderful to let go once in awhile.

Jayne, with Evan perched on his shoulder, watched his beautiful wife be swept across the dance floor by a man who, under different circumstances, could have been her husband. He didn't dance and he didn't want to stop Cassidy from it, but he didn't like how this man thought he could hold another mans wife that close! Just as he was about to step in Cassidy politely pulled away and claimed she was too tired to continue and came back to her families side. Jayne noticed the young bucks watching her walk over to him and to prove his point he put his arm around her shoulder and hauled her against his side. Cassidy was pleased since that also meant that the women trying to catch Jaynes eye would also be put off.

Evan was in the midst of climbing down his back when he asked if he could play in the hay pile with the other kids. Cassidy remembered saying, "of course" and feeling Jayne grab her hand to pull her onto the dance floor at the same time. She was shocked silent by his actions.

"How does one go about doing this?" He asked looking embarrassed and lost as he watched other couples and placed his hands where he thought they should go.

Jayne remembered that she didn't answer and when he looked down at her her smile was radiant, and he no longer cared if he made a fool of himself, he felt pleased that he could do something so small to make her that happy. Cassidy put her arms around her husband and gently guided him to the music. It was a soft tune that Cassidy would never forget and even hummed to herself sometimes. It was her best memory. While they danced, Jayne noticed the same touchy man walking over to cut in but didn't care. He just wanted her to continue looking at him the way she was and before he could stop himself he bent his head down and kissed her. It might have been to prove another point to any men watching and it might not have been, but it didn't matter.

His kiss was a lot gentler than she would have ever imagined, the second his lips touched hers she felt it right down to her toes which had to be the only reason she moved to stand on them to allow for better reach. She wasn't ashamed to say that it felt like heaven. How could a man who was so hard and strong everywhere have lips that were so soft and inviting. Jayne was wondering where on earth she learned to kiss like that and that if he didn't stop soon there would be no going back. Who knows where it would have led since Evan chose that time to decide he also wanted to dance with mommy and daddy.

Pulling out of her memory Cassidy looked at the man now sitting so close to her. It was quite literally the next night that Cassidy had been taken and that's when their feelings for each other took a turn for the worse. Jayne thought he pushed too hard for something she didn't want and she left because of it. Cassidy thought he didn't care enough to come after her. Now, here they are in the mess they made for themselves…it's amazing how some things turn out. "I guess we'll never know" Cassidy replied, and, with that, she walked out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks so much for the words of support, they're really keeping me going! Glad you like the story! Anyways, the chapters might take a bit more time getting up since I'm getting to parts that still need major work, but no worries I won't stop until it's done. Thanks again!**

"I don't understand how those two are together"

"Well they aren't, at least not in any real way"

"I don't know how he just let her walk away"

"Who knows what he was thinking"

"He probably wasn't thinking at all"

"Well that sounds like Jayne to me"

"How can we trust him to not be a part of this big mess I mean I know how you guys found him"

"Yes but this is his family, we shouldn't assume…"

"He was always willing to do anything for the right amount of cash"

"The very idea that he just left his wife and son hanging to die"

"Yah well he is a hard man to trust"

Cassidy was sorting through her overwhelming thoughts when she walked near the galley and heard what the rest of the crew was talking about. She couldn't believe the filth she was hearing from the crew about Jayne and she had heard enough. Walking in she was practically shaking with fury.

"I can't believe you all…" At her sudden appearance the room grew silent and they had the grace to look ashamed but she continued unheeded. "How could you all say such cruel things? Do you honestly think he would willingly leave us to die?" The very thought was impossible to image in Cassidy's mind, yes he might have never come after them but he didn't know that they were in trouble…if he had, well there was no doubt in her mind that he would have moved mountains to find them.

"Do you know why his first thought is about the paycheck? His first priority is his family and if any of you knew anything about him you would know that his sister is seriously ill, has been for years and she needs daily medicine, expensive medicine. His family isn't well off and that leaves Jayne to provide the extra funding so yes he cares about the cash. If he didn't then his sister would die so forgive his selfish habit!" Her sarcasm was palpable. Mal was just about to add his two cents when she moved on.

"As to not trusting him, that is bull. I'm sure he's made his bad decisions he always has, but he, unlike the rest of us, makes a point to make up for them even when its not needed. I know there's some bad blood here, I'm not blind, but I know Jayne enough to know that he protects what he considers his and this crew is his." Simon was trying to find a time to argue her points but she had hit too close to home with that last statement so he let it go.

"He may have needed to become a mercenary—that's where his skills fit but I can guarantee in a spot of trouble you wouldn't wish for anyone else to cover your back then that man. I have never known a man to be more dependable in my life and to talk so down about him is hypocrisy." She turned to direct her comment to Mal, "you didn't have to invite him on your ship captain and yet you did and my bet is that he has saved your hide time and time again after it and all of you reward him with mistrust. He and I may not have a perfect relationship but I was thankful to marry him and even in my darkest times I could never blame him. He is a good man and you all have known him long enough to realize that but somehow you still take him for granted. I'm very lucky to be married to such a man and you're all lucky that he is watching your back, even though after what I have heard I'm hard pressed to say you deserve it."

Mal was smiling after hearing the fervent speech, he knew that she loved Jayne but now there wasn't a doubt in anyones mind. While the rest of the crew worried over being contrite he studied this woman before him that had just spent about a little over an hour with his merc in the infirmary. "How's Jayne?" He asked before his crew could try to explain themselves.

She turned to him, "he'll live," once she noticed how banged up he was as well she continued without her anger, "what were you two really trying to accomplish?"

"Well honestly Mrs. Cobb I'm just pretty sure that he wanted to blow off some steam but despite our best efforts we still got a bit of useful information. They will be returning the day after tomorrow."

"What?" Her exclamation was echoed by half of the crew and she was grateful that he had waited to tell her first.

"Apparently they have some other unfinished business that we are going to interrupt, now we have some details to work out…" he turned to the rest of the crew to make plans but she didn't let him finish.

"One day isn't enough time! Jayne is still injured and…"

"Hell, I'll be fine," Jayne interrupted. Cassidy spun around realizing that he had followed after her and turned bright red. Dear lord had he heard her speech? Of course he hadn't but no one who had seen him enter felt the need to inform her just yet. He limped over to Cassidy's side and nodded for her to sit while he reclined next to her, "it seems that the crew has grown more loose lipped then when I knew them because we found out some interesting facts." He looked over to Cassidy when he added, "like the fact that Evan is somewhere in this city."

"No…." her hands automatically reached for Jaynes arm and he would die before he told her that she was gripping right over the area someone hit him with a bar chair that night, "He was supposed to be kept somewhere safe." Inara walked over to Cassidy and put her hands on her shoulders to offer support.

"They didn't say he wasn't safe, right captain?" Zoe asked.

"As far as we know he is being kept under lock and key and here that sounds safe to me."

It was a sad day when that was reassuring but it was, if he was locked up then that means he wasn't being shown off…like her.

"He's safe" River spoke up from where she had crouched on the floor against the wall, "times ticking but no ones hurt him like you fear…monsters always consider themselves men of their word. Tick tock."

Jayne didn't think he would ever be happy to hear something that came out of that girls mouth but she had just given him the biggest gift anyone could: hope. They had a short supply, much shorter than what he was letting on to Cass, like the fact that the Divine Right had grown in numbers but right then he coulda kissed River…on the cheek of course.

"Do you know where mei mei?" Simon asked only to see her shake her head.

"Well, what do you need us to do?" Wash wasn't going to be left out of this one, despite everything Jayne was family and what Cassidy had said was true, he deserved their trust. He liked Cassidy just fine, felt bad for her sure but liked her spirit even more, he wanted to help.

"If I can read your face captain like I think I've learned to I believe you'll need all of our help and I think I speak for everyone when we say we are willing to do everything we can," he glanced over to Cassidy, "we know the hardships you have faced and well I consider all these people here family, you're Jaynes and now ours so lets figure out how to complete it by getting your son back now shall we?" Zoe reached to squeeze her husbands hand; she loved that he could sum up their beliefs and apologize in a way for all of their earlier words in one simple way.

"Of course, we'll all do what we can." Kaylee added. She was so sorry that Cassidy thought they all thought so badly of Jayne she wanted to prove that they would all help.

Simon was leaning over Cassidy's shoulder and was trying to offer reassurance that they would help and find her son, he was also answering her quite questions about Jaynes past injuries. Of course he didn't know that that looked an awful lot like whispering into each others ears to a drugged up husband.

What in the gorram hell did Simon think he was doing, and why was Cassidy smiling at him like that? Hell Kaylee was right there and here he was sidling up to a married woman, he was almost to busy glaring to hear Mal.

"You're growling Jayne, if you aren't careful someone might actually think that you actually have a heart and a soft spot for your wife here."

"Shutup Mal."

But Mal was all sorts of seriousness, "No Jayne listen," he said as he put his back for a minute to the rest of the crew and spoke so that they wouldn't be overheard, "if these people get any idea of how much you and her care about each other they will make it all that much harder on the both of you. Do you understand where I'm coming from?"

Jayne gave a brisk nod but kept his glare, no point in changing his character now, he would protect Cass with his life. He had just about enough of this, he didn't know what he was feeling but he knew one thing—he didn't like how close Simon sat to his wife.

Cassidy was reassured when Simon told her that while some of Jaynes injuries were serious they were all healed now and he was in good shape, then she made the mistake of looking up at their topic of discussion. She didn't know when she would get used to seeing Jayne again but she hoped he would stop having such a startling effect on her. After all this time he was playing havoc with her mind and senses. In truth she never thought she would see him again, she thought she wouldn't survive to begin with but she would die trying. Now facing the man that visited her dreams she lost her fear and smiled at his glare. "Let's get started."


	12. Chapter 12

**So sorry for the long delay but I will be much better now since I made some more progress, this story will be completed so I won't leave it hanging. Also, this is a bit more up a rating, I know for sure that it will go up a rating soon but I didn't want to change it for this chapter just a lemon that will be clearly identified in case people want to avoid it. **

The details of the plan were left vague for Cassidy's sake, they didn't want to make the situation seem bad—which it was. All she had to know was her part in it all. She would get Jayne inside where he could do the most damage while the rest of them would work from the outside. They get Jayne as long as she can see that Evan is safe. Once he is in reach the attack begins and her job ends with getting Evan to safety as soon as possible. Wash would arrive with Serenity long enough to haul them all out but short enough to not become a target.

The simplicity almost made the plan seem impossible but the confidence the crew eluded convinced Cassidy that it might work. It had to work, Evan needed to grow up like a normal boy, needed to leave behind the legacy of blood from his family…and they all needed to start over again. She didn't care how or when but they would, and she would die to make sure that Evan was never hurt again.

Mal ordered the crew to get some sleep. Of course he didn't explain that he, Jayne, and Zoe would rotate watch to make sure that no one followed them from their fight to the ship. Jayne knew that if Cassidy had any idea about what was being kept from her there would be blood, but captains orders.

It was an amazing thought but Cassidy went to sleep optimistic, if only she had known that her dreams wouldn't be on her side…

She heard the pounding on the front door and rolled over in her sleep, she had always been an impossibly deep sleeper so she was just about to drift off unconcerned when the first scream tore through the haze of sleep. She ran to her bedroom door and opened it just in time to see the blood spilled across the floor and the sound of her mother struggling before she was grabbed from behind. The hand over her mouth pulled her beyond panic to the point where she didn't even recognize her brother's voice at first, "Cassidy! Gorram it Cass it's me" he whispered as she continued to struggle.

She turned in his arms finally comprehending but not understanding why he wasn't trying to help their family. He didn't let up which was a good thing since she probably would have betrayed them both if he had by letting go of the scream right below the surface. He guided her to the window while giving her rushed instructions, "Cassidy go to Jayne, he's staying at the river cabin, he has Evan. You have to protect him Cass. Go get Jayne, send him here. Go, go now!" He yelled as he pushed her into the darkness and rushed back into the house pulling out his gun.

She didn't want to leave him but knew that they needed help and Jayne was the strongest person she knew besides her brother so she did the only thing she could do, she ran and called herself a coward. She saw shadows as she ran and noticed men surrounding her house, they surrounded her not letting her through. One man in particular rode forward and his face she hurt to recognize. Those black sunken eyes, the hair pulled into a thin greasy ponytail across his shoulder and the smile that oozed charm that anyone would believe. Anyone but her—she knew better, she was looking at the devil and she forgot to breathe. His men had her hands behind her back in a second, but when he dismounted and walked towards her she still managed to spit in his face. She felt her teeth crunch as he backhanded her and gave instructions to his men. While they held her down she screamed and fought, but it was never any use. She felt him touch her and wished to god they would skin her alive so she wouldn't have to feel that touch. When he moved above her she closed her eyes and tried to pretend to be elsewhere but then she felt her clothes being pushed aside and he ripped through her and she knew there was no pretending. As he moved above her she bit the inside of her mouth to focus on a different pain but the blood that caused just drew attention to her mouth…She was in hell. They beat her and toyed with her letting her believe that she might have a chance and through her blood-stained vision she saw a horse drag two bodies next to her. A man and baby she recognized instantly. Her scream of despair woke her up.

Cassidy jerked awake completely forgetting where she was. She stared at the wall lost for a moment before comprehending that it was just a dream. She hadn't seen Jayne and Evan dragged dead beside her. It was one of her nightmares evolved over time. Now, two separate true events were woven together to represent a continuous stream when in fact they were separated by years and there was a new ending which terrified her. Vividly she remembered seeing the blood on her families walls and hearing Bryant order her to find Jayne while he went on to fight alone. Later, she knew that he sent her on a hopeless task—there was no way that Jayne could have gotten there in time and Bryant knew that. He found out late that the Divine Right had grown bold and were going directly after his family and sprinted home, he got who he could out but only Cassidy survived. Somehow she slipped through the veritable barricade around the house and made it through the pitch black forest and to the Cobbs. Jayne of course reacted instantly but the damage had been done and the sights and sounds would haunt Cassidy forever apparently.

Then of course, just when she thought that life was becoming normal again, when she thought that she might have a chance of happiness she took her eyes off of Evan for a second and when she turned around he was being held by the same type of monster that destroyed her first family. The son in fact of Marcus Crater a man who was killed by her brother and Jayne and he wanted what he thought was due him, the fortune of Evans inheritance and her. His thought was that Jayne would come when they were ready for him…or needed him which was sooner than they thought. Now here she was essentially doing what they wanted and that thought always chilled her to the bone.

Cassidy realized she was still shaking when she tried to get a drink of water and it sloshed down the front of her. She thought about taking a shower but knew that she would just scrape her skin raw from trying to wash the memories away and it never helped anyways. Why couldn't she dream of her happy memories? She closed her eyes trying to think but that devils face flashed in the darkness and she knew she would get no sleep tonight…unless. Taking a deep breath Cassidy admitted that she would probably only get sleep if she acted like a five year old and leaned on protection offered by a certain mans reassurance, a man who could scare the dreams away. The one living person who knew almost as much as her about the events that shaped her nightmares.

Without thinking she left her room and walked to Jaynes door, she didn't knock but climbed right down. Jayne was awake the second his door opened. He had just finished his watch and had just drifted to sleep when he heard the door open. Watching silently he saw Cassidy climb down the ladder and hesitate at the bottom. Pretending to still be asleep he waited to see what she would do.

"Jayne?" _God Cassidy you never should have come, you're acting like a baby_ she thought.

The tremble in her voice betrayed her and he sat up, "what's wrong Cass?"

"How did Marcus Crater die?" She could read his confused face even through the darkness, "I need to know that it wasn't an easy death and I need to know that there's one man I never have to worry about coming back." She slowly advanced into the room so that she could see his face when he answered; she needed to see that he understood.

"Bryant told you he's dead, don't you believe him?"

"Bryants dead and I never would have believed that was possible but Marcus's relations killed him and now I need your confirmation."

"Marcus got what was coming for him Cassidy and his son will too, there's no way both will ever come back to hurt you again." When she got close enough he saw how white her hands were from her grip, "They can't hurt you anymore Cass I won't let them," then an even scarier thought occurred to him, "you do know that I'll protect you right…that this time I won't get it wrong?"

"Of course Jayne, I never doubted that."

"Then why are you scared?"

"You can't protect me in my dreams, but there they can still haunt me." As she admitted what she considered to be a weakness tears started to stream down her cheeks, too late she tried to wipe them away but she couldn't control herself. Jayne hated more than anything that these memories had the ability to make her cry, nothing used to be able to but here she was for the second time in a matter of days and he was just as lost as before. He might not be able to stop her nightmares but he could try.

"Well I've been known to scare away some monsters in my day with Evan and some sisters maybe I'll be just as effective with you." He knew she didn't understand what he was saying by her expression and continued, "come on Cass lets go to sleep." He said it as he pulled open the blankets for her to climb in. She was incredibly touched by the gesture and remembered how she would sometimes see Evan snuggled up against Jayne after he had had a nightmare. Unsure about what to do since sleeping with her husband was definitely not something she imagined happening when she debated going to his room. Now that he mentioned it though, it was unbelievably appealing to her.

Not wanting to ruin his sleep while at the same time wanting to take him up on his offer she made up a simple excuse. "You take up the whole bed," which was true.

"You'll take up barely any of it," which was also true.

Her heart made the decision before her mind could talk her out of it and was in the middle of climbing in when Jayne interrupted her, "uh huh, you get the side against the wall Cass."

"Why?"

He didn't feel like explaining that it was in case anyone ever breached Serenity again that they would have to get through him before getting to her, "because I broke in this side already!" He snapped.

Carefully laying down she positioned herself more and more against the wall until she felt a sharp jab in her back and yelped. Turning around she pulled away the curtain that she thought was purely decorative but then discovered his arsenal hidden behind it. "What is this Jayne?" She asked, astonished.

"That's where my favorites go," he said like she should have known.

It didn't take long to notice how Cassidy was trying to push herself into the wall. Jayne knew he took up a lot of space but that wasn't the point, it couldn't have been comfortable with all his guns stabbing her in the back. Without another thought, he laid down, found a comfortable position, threw his arm around Cassidy and hauled her up against him. He knew he was causing all sorts of trouble for himself but he didn't care, damn she smelled good. How in the middle of all this mess did she still manage to smell like vanilla? He smiled in the darkness when he felt her stiffness relax away and she even inched closer to him and tucked her head under his chin.

Cassidy thought that she never felt more comfortable in her life. His smell alone comforted her. It was so familiar, he smelled like the little forest by their home where she used to wander and where, on the other side, he lived. His smell was utterly Jayne. She was addicted to the feeling and tried to move more into his embrace. Feeling his arms tighten around her she rested her head on his arm and an alarming thought came to mind: she wanted to stay like this forever. She knew she couldn't, she didn't have the right. That was such a sad thought that she began to sing a lullaby in her head to distract herself enough to fall asleep.

Meanwhile, Jayne was reciting all the names of all the guns in his collection and their specifics to keep his mind off of how well his wife fit against him. Needless to say sleep was a welcome distraction for both of them.


	13. Chapter 13

**Captain-Rouge-River: It's really nice to be reminded that I have a regular reader. Don't worry I'm sure Jayne went to bed real fast…anyways I'm so glad that you confused this with the actual series, makes me believe I connected the two well enough. Also, I was really worried about the whole out of character Jayne thing but its good to know its ok. Thanks for the support! **

**Kristafied: I hope I can continue to keep you intrigued!**

**Kayli: Thanks so much!**

**Queenjane516: I hope you continue to enjoy it! **

**Fett12000: I promise to keep the chapters coming!**

**Smut Angel: I hope you like where the story is going so far!**

**Thanks for the support and I will try to keep this up at a regular basis. **

Jayne woke up first and knew he was in trouble. Despite everything that Cassidy had been through in some ways she was very much an innocent, like in knowing her appeal. Some time during the night Jayne had ended up on his back with Cassidy against his side. Her head was resting on his chest and her arm was thrown across him. That in itself would be fine since it allowed him a lovely view of her face in what appeared to be a peaceful sleep. No, that wasn't what was causing the problem. She had worn an oversized shirt to sleep and at his current vantage there wasn't really much left to be imagined, also, joining her arm she had moved her leg to rest directly over his hips and therefore his crotch.

He couldn't think fast enough. All he knew was that he needed to get out and get out fast, but he didn't want to disrupt her sleep. She seemed awfully comfortable and he should have more self control…but of course he didn't. All he had to do was completely ignore her chest pressed against his side and her very shapely leg thrown across him. She made his decision for him when she moved her leg ever so slightly. Not wanting her to wake up and see him in his current position and possibly scare her he very gently eased out from under her, replacing himself with pillows when he could.

Damn could she look more provocative? He knew it wasn't intentional but she was playing at being a tease. Here he was not even able to look at her without thinking thoughts of sexing…but damn it she was his wife! He couldn't act like a eunuch forever! He spent a moment watching her sleep in peace before his eyes started to wander.

"Ah hell," he muttered as he left for the bathroom and a cold shower. He didn't have time for this; he had a son to rescue.

With Jaynes missing heat Cassidy stirred soon afterwards. She reached out and woke when she noticed that he wasn't beside her, she grew embarrassed by her actions and sat up to look around but only heard running water. She sat contemplating when she had last slept through such a length of time without a single nightmare…she couldn't remember it was so long ago. It looked like Jayne chased away her monsters in her sleep and she regretted that she would have to do without afterwards. There was no way she would impose on Jayne so much…if only they were a real married couple it would be normal. She told herself not to let her thoughts wander in that direction, it would only depress her. Looking down she turned bright red when she noticed the position of her clothes, good lord had he seen her like this? Turning to look at the small mirror on his wall she noticed her curls in complete disarray and how frumpy she looked. Trying unsuccessfully to manage her hair she thought about how much thanks she owed Jayne and amazed herself. Just a few days ago she was so busy hating him and now, spending time with him again, she remembered how much he means to her and how much she truly owes him. If it wasn't for him she and Evan would never have survived.

Evan was waiting for the hero. She could hear his voice telling her that Daddy would come and save them both…she didn't have the heart to tell him Daddy thought they had run away from him and by now probably wanted nothing to do with her. Then again, even if he hated her his heart would never turn stone where Evan was concerned.

She was ashamed to remember that even when she had told Evan that she had to leave for a little bit that he was still adamant that Jayne would come and rescue them, that all she had to do was find him, he was so sure but she had no belief. She reassured him that of course she believed the same and then set off to do nothing of the kind.

Of course, in the middle of her musings Jayne entered the room wearing nothing but a towel and her thoughts went flying…at least all the productive ones. She practically ran from the room and before he could say anything she was gone.

As she exited Jaynes room she was beyond embarrassed to enter an occupied hallway. There was Mal, Book, Kaylee and Simon having a discussion that stopped mid sentence when they saw who was leaving Jaynes room and in what condition she was in. Cassidy turned bright red, held her head high since she had done nothing wrong and walked right past them feigning courage even though she didn't look a one of them in the eye. If she had she would have seen smiles on the lot and would have heard Mal's whispered, "about time."

Jayne finished getting dressed and searched for the captain to get started. As he passed crew he wondered why on earth they were all in such a good mood…they never smiled like that at him before. Then again, he didn't care what kind of mood they were in as long as they remembered their jobs today. When he noticed Mal and Cassidy having a conversation in the bay he walked over.

"They gave very specific instructions, I was to give this to Jayne the morning of," Cassidy said very calmly as she revealed a small vial, "I was supposed to put it in something to drink."

Simon took it from her hands and smelled it, "It's a muscle relaxant and from the smell a very strong on. You would have felt no different since it is only triggered by stress, but It probably would have made it impossible for you to fight very well, if at all."

"Well you are good for something after all," Jayne interjected.

Cassidy ignored the insults being thrown back and forth between Simon and Jayne and asked the captain, "are we ready?"

"Are _you_ ready?" With her confused face as an answer Mal continued, "I know my crew Cassidy and I know their ability to pull through a hard situation but even they have a difficult time when it's something this personal. I've only know you for a few days now…"

"I'll do my job." Nothing would keep her from Evan.

Mal studied her for a long minute. Here was a woman who had fought hell to find someone she barely knew to ask for help. Oh he knew she was chalk full of courage, hell she was married to Jayne. The only thing that worried him was whether or not she considered her own life worth saving. When she walked into the den of the lion would she consider her life as valuable as any of theirs? He sure as hell hoped so…but he could do nothing about it, that was Jaynes territory. If he doubted anything he couldn't doubt the strength of this woman and nodded to reassure her, "Jayne, you're wife's itching to take off why don't you guys get going?"

Jayne turned to her suddenly all seriousness, "sure lets go."

He and Cassidy would leave first, they would probably be watched continuously once they entered the town and they wanted to give the appearance that they were alone…the others would follow later, more discreet than a walk down main street. Their walk was silent down the red dirt road, both were lost in their thoughts…until the building came into sight where Cassidy's demons presumably were waiting for them.

"I'm supposed to lead you up by giving you some excuse…I mean it is an old hotel…"

Jayne didn't wait for her nervousness to take over he grabbed her hand and led the way, "same room Cassidy?"

"I think so," was her whispered response.

When they got to the door they acted like they didn't know about the men behind them and in the rooms below. Cassidy moved to enter first but there was no way Jayne would let her. Walking in he let himself be ambushed all the while counting in his head the minutes to keep track of when the rest of the crew should spring into action. He was forced to his knees and his arms were tied behind him in a matter of seconds. He didn't yell, Simon said it would have been impossible…oh how he wanted to cause some damage.

Cassidy noticed that even though they thought he was drugged they still used five men…it made her smile inside, oh they had an idea, but they still didn't know what they were asking for when they told her to bring them Jayne Cobb. Then they moved to do the same to her. From Jayne's face she knew he wanted to fight but she visually pleaded with him not to give it away yet that he wasn't drugged. No one had spoken a word but then Cassidy froze when she heard the voice of the devil.

"Oh my lovely I see you did bring me a present after all." There he was a man Jayne would have earlier sworn was dead and gone but Cassidy knew otherwise. All the cruelty in Marcus Crater was magnified in his son. Through everything, he always talked to her like that, like he and her were in on some twisted joke together. Everything he did to her he pretended that he was just granting her wish, that it was all her doing…not this time. No, she had the strength of the entire Serenity crew at her back, including her husband and she would get her son back single handed with that kind of strength.

"Where's Evan?" She got right to the point, she couldn't deal with his bullshit. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jayne slowly bend over to almost touch the floor with his face, it was a good act. If she didn't know better she would believe he was completely subdued, but she did and she was sure he was in the middle of untying himself and reaching for a weapon.

"Next door, you know I don't like to let you see him, you always make such a fuss, it really makes me feel neglected…You know what I found out while you were gone?" he continued unchecked, Cassidy always knew he liked to hear himself talk, and she would let him because it meant more time…until he pulled a gun out and examined it. "I found out that in order to access Evans inheritance Jayne has to sign with you…but only you need to sign," he leveled the gun, "if he's dead."

It all happened so quickly. Cassidy screamed, "No" and tried to move to get in front of Jayne but was rewarded by a slap across the face with the side of the gun. Jayne surged forward.

Then she heard a gunshot…and saw the red of Jayne's lifeblood on her hands.


	14. Chapter 14

**Wow, I got a response from that one, but considering how I left it hanging I shouldn't be surprised. **

**Kayli: I tried to hurry, but I'm afraid you might consider this chapter evil as well. **

**Fett012000: Things are FINALLY coming together…slowing but surely everything will be resolved. **

**Captain-Rogue-River: Sorry to prolong your torment! **

**Queenjane516: Jayne is my favorite too…it hurt me to do it but it's all for the stories sake. **

**Thanks for hanging in there with me guys! Next one will be up soon!**

Jayne was pushed back by the blast. He fell right into Cassidy and then hit the floor. She couldn't do a thing to stop it even though she wanted to desperately, but her hands were still tied behind her back, so instead she knelt and tried to see how bad it was. Before she could think she was roughly grabbed from behind and hauled up and around.

"You lying bitch! You said he was drugged!" Her personal devil screamed at her, she knew that she had said nothing of the kind but was too busy watching him wave the gun he still possessed around to reply. Of course that meant that in that second they were both too busy watching each other to pay any attention to Jayne.

Cassidy heard the knife whiz past her arm and in the same second imbed itself into his gun hand forcing him to drop his weapon. She didn't waste a moment, running forward she knelt and awkwardly picked up the gun, at the same time she heard the yell and it filled her with relief and terror at the same time, "Jayne, you fools get him! Don't worry about her, get him!"

She whirled in time to see them once again surround him but this time he didn't have to pretend, he was injured…badly but somehow he still fought like a man possessed. With his bare hands he fought armed men and made them wish they had never encountered him. He didn't have time to pull any of the weapons on him but he still held his own…amazingly. He was fighting on pure adrenaline and the pain in his chest only added fuel to the fire, he just hoped it would hold long enough.

Cassidy knew there was danger still from the ringleader who was busy wrapping a hand that appeared to be missing a few fingers. She quickly found Jayne's knife and blindly rubbed her ties on it to rip them, she felt her own blood flow but, thankfully, felt the ties give as well. One yell from Jayne turned her complete attention towards him again. She was not helpless, like she said she had the strength of everyone she loved behind her. That and a few lessons learned in a forest when she was young by her brother and his best friend. One man was about to swing a club at Jayne's back but found a knife in his stomach instead. Her aim might not have been as perfect, but she could hold her own.

"Cassidy! Forget me, get Evan!" She heard Jayne yell and she remembered what they were all fighting for. In an instant she turned and it broke her heart to run from the room where Jayne could very well die, but she had to get to Evan.

As she ran to the door out of the corner of her eye she saw the man she had once feared most cradling his injury and looking at sorts of pathetic, how did this man hold so much power over her? When he noticed her leave unhindered he screamed, "where the hell are my men?"

She ran, not giving him any more of her attention, ran straight into an empty room. No, not empty, there was Nora staring out the window but she turned and held out a gun when she saw someone enter the room. Once she recognized Cassidy she lowered her arm and pointed to the closet. Cassidy had room in her heart for this woman, she had once told Cassidy that when her husband was killed, Marcus had offered her and her family protection and so, without many options, she had tied herself to him. Often she had cleaned Cassidy's wounds and snuck her food, she was also the person Cassidy had made swear to protect Evan, and she had done her job.

Cassidy didn't say a word, just ran to the closet and hoped to god the gunshots she was hearing were Jaynes…or Mals or Zoes as long as they didn't belong to anyone else things would be alright. Then nothing mattered anymore because there was Evan huddled in the corner with his hands over his ears and his eyes tightly closed. When she stepped inside and knelt down he opened his eyes, "Mommy?" he whispered.

Nodding, Cassidy knew she was crying, but her heart was bursting to see him. She went to him and pulled him to her all the while checking for any injuries and was relieved to see he was unharmed, "it's me Evan, we have to get out of here."

"We can't mommy, Nora said to stay in the closet until the shouting stops."

"You're a brave one you are Evan, but Daddy is waiting so we have to hurry." His eyes grew wide and he nodded, "now I need you to hold real tight to me and close your eyes ok?"

She didn't wait for a response, standing she ran and paused to look at Nora, a woman she had to thank…but couldn't. Their gazes locked for a second and it was enough. Leaving, Cassidy ran down the stairs hoping that the silence below her meant that the rest of the crew was successful. Every empty room she passed gave her more and more hope until she came out of the building and there was Kaylee in the mule, "Cassidy! Common, we have to get out of here…where's Jayne?"

Not bothering to explain, she passed Evan to her, "Evan you have to go with this lady ok?"

"Mommy, No! What if you don't come back?" Cassidy didn't know what to say to that…Evan had seen too many people he loved never come back and she could offer him no reassurance, maybe she wasn't meant to be a mother after all.

Kaylee was having a hard time controlling the wiggling bundle in her arms, "Cassidy are you crazy?"

"Go get Mal, we need help." For the first time Kaylee noticed the blood all over Cassidy and covering her hands and she picked up on the urgency. "Kaylee, take Evan NOW!" She kissed Evan on the forehead and ran back to the building hoping that help would arrive in time. She ran back up to her place of nightmares because in there was one of the only people she had left in the world, he couldn't be taken away from her now! There was no way she would stand aside so he could sacrifice himself for some ideal that she knew he had made up in his mind. She couldn't…she couldn't leave him to die.

When she arrived back at the room she had to step around bodies and knew Jayne instantly. Her heart beat again because it was proof the he was still alive. There was only one large man left but Jayne was struggling to finish it.

Searching for a weapon, Cassidy felt her nightmare at her back and with a piece of wood in her hands she spun determined to fight him with all she had. She jumped when she heard a gunshot but couldn't turn to see whose it was since she was focused on the man who was pulling back his fist in an all too familiar gesture.

"Touch her and I blow your head off." The voice belonged to the man who owned Cassidy's heart and she knew joy from the look of horror on the monsters face as his turned and ran for the fire escape. In an instant, she turned to watch Jayne…and was just in time to see him fall to his hands and knees.

"Jayne!" She screamed and ran over to him. He fell completely and she tried to move him to his back to allow her better access. She heard the pounding on the stairs and saw Mal run into the room with Zoe right behind, "help me!"

It took less than a second for Mal to take in the scene in front of him. There was blood everywhere but when he ran over he still saw Jaynes chest rise and fall, shallow but he was still breathing, "we need to get him to Simon." He turned and nodded to Zoe, they both knew he wouldn't be able to walk and so with all of them together they tried as gently as possible to lift him enough to half drag him out of that god-forsaken building.

"Gorram it Jayne why do you have to be so heavy?" The silence that answered Mal scared him more than the blood, he shared a look with Zoe that they both tried to hide from Cassidy, but there was no more hiding from her.

In her loudest voice she addressed her husband, "Jayne, you listen to me, "she began after seeing his eyes flicker open. "There's no way I'm losing you! If you die on me I swear I'll follow and never let you rest in peace for abandoning me again!" She was intentionally trying to provoke him to keep him conscious but knew by the paleness of his face she was failing.

She wasn't a very religious person but she found herself praying once again to any god that would listen, please let us get to the ship in time.


	15. Chapter 15

**Two for one!**

Serenity couldn't have looked any better to Cassidy when it finally come into view. They wasted no time getting Jayne past the concerned crew members and straight to the infirmary. Simon had heard he was needed and was preparing, but he wasn't prepared for Jayne to be carried into the room looking as bad as he did. Blood was soaked through his shirt and when they laid him on the table his head rolled down as if he really was dead.

That was an impossibility to Simon who had seen Jayne fight, but he checked for a pulse and found a weak response. Cassidy had torn open Jayne's shirt to find and clear the wound as Simon reached for his tools. While his back was turned Mal approached Simon and whispered in his ear, "what can we do?"

Looking him straight in the eye Simon responded the only way he could, "honestly, I think he's lost too much blood, but we have to try" he added with a glace back to Cassidy and Jayne. Louder, he continued, "I am the only one with Jaynes blood type so I'm going to have to ask Zoe and you Cassidy to do the surgery while I guide you through it." He was talking as he began to insert a needle into his own vein and moving to do the same to Jayne. For the moment blood was the key. Jayne would have enjoyed the irony if he could have of Simon and him sharing blood…Mal hoped he would be able to tell him so they could both laugh over it later.

Cassidy didn't care what was needed of her she would offer everything she could if needed. She and Zoe worked tirelessly to remove the bullet from Jaynes chest and stitch up his torn flesh. Hours had past and Simon had offered as much blood as he could spare, but even he didn't know if it would be enough. Cassidy cleaned up, glanced at Jayne and walked out of the room into the crowded walkway where people bombarded her with questions. She answered them all with, "where's Evan?"

Inara responded, "Kaylee took Evan to her room to play since she didn't think he needed to see this." She wanted to ask so much more of Cassidy but couldn't as she just saw her nod and walk past them all. Inara looked at the rest of the crew and knew that they were all praying in their own way that Jayne would make it out alright, even though only the preacher was obvious with his bible. While it may not always seem like the case, they all cared deeply about the lug and his crude ways…that and Inara feared that Cassidy wouldn't survive his loss.

Cassidy didn't remember the walk to Kaylee's room, nothing mattered until she felt Evan launch himself at her and squeeze the breath out of her. Here was one part of her heart that she got back and she was beyond thankful for that at least.

"Evan, are you ok? Did they do anything to you?" She feared the answer but needed one all the same.

"No mama, Nora said to hide in the room when they came over. She said they would forget I was there." Cassidy smiled at the effort Nora put into keeping Evan safe, she could never repay her. "Why are you sad?" He asked full of seriousness as he clumsily wiped at the tears on her cheek.

Until that moment Cassidy hadn't realized she was crying, could tears be for happiness and sadness at the same time? Could the heart rejoice and mourn simultaneously? "I'm not sad Evan, I'm happy you're back with me and safe."

"Daddy came didn't he?" he asked expectantly. All she could manage was a small smile and a nod before she hugged him to her to confirm that he was truly finally with her.

Kaylee felt like she was intruding but couldn't help it. She had tears in her own eyes at the sight before her and as badly as she wanted to know how Jayne was she didn't want to force Cassidy into answering her questions at the moment. Instead, she silently made her way into the hall to offer some sort of privacy to the reunited pair.

River was waiting for her, "he looks like Jayne doesn't he?"

Surprised, Kaylee considered it, "I guess he kinda does."

"Jayne's dying" she said matter-of-factly. Kaylee lifted her hand to her mouth to try and cover her gasp of sadness and she turned to run to the infirmary to see for herself…but River continued as if talking through the door to the woman beyond, "he has been dying inside ever since he left everything behind…in order to forget…but maybe this time he'll actually heal."

Meanwhile, in Kaylee's room Cassidy was trying to explain why Evan couldn't see Daddy now like he wanted, "he needs his rest Evan."

"I won't wake him up, I promise! Its been _forever_." Cassidy saw the pleading in his eyes and couldn't deny him, he was right, it was forever since they were together.

Holding her hand out to her little boy she gave in, "okay, lets go see your dad." It felt weird and right at the same time to hear Evan refer to them as his mother and father. It linked them in a way that they never really embraced before, he was their link to each other, could it hold?

Walking down the hallway she ran into some of the crew. Inara smiled her sad smile at her and knelt to introduce herself to Evan who referred to her as the pretty lady. Book quietly asked if Evan should see Jayne like that and she replied that she wouldn't stop him from seeing his father, who, she reminded everyone, wasn't dead yet. The rest of the crew cleared the way for her to enter the room unhindered with Evan who watched everyone with a silent curiosity but who still wouldn't loosen the death grip he had on her hand.

Until, the second Evan saw Jayne and he ran to the bed. Completely forgetting his promise, like Cassidy expected he might, he yelled, "Daddy!" Cassidy wished, but knew it was too soon to see any response from Jayne and saw Evan turn to her, "Mama, why doesn't he wake up?"

Patiently Cassidy replied, "like I said Evan, he's very tired." She watched as her brothers son played with one of Jaynes large hands with his own tiny ones. Evan would never remember Bryant when he grew older, he was too young when he died. His mother, Bryant's wife Natalie, had died in childbirth but Cassidy had plenty of good stories to tell him about her as well. What she didn't want to do, could never do, was tell Evan stories about Jayne. She was holding too many memories as it was. Bryant gave the only thing he had left in the world, Evan, to Cassidy under the protection of Jayne because he knew that was the best thing for the boy. Bryant had never expected that she would need to do it alone and she didn't want to.

When Simon entered the room to check on his patient Cassidy informed Evan that it was time to sleep, to which he quickly responded that he wanted to sleep with Daddy. In the middle of Cassidy vehemently shaking her head Simon interrupted, "I can bring in a cot for him."

Cassidy relented because she herself didn't want to leave Jayne and before she could answer in the affirmative she already saw Mal carrying one in, "didn't think you'd be sleeping in your room tonight" he offered as an explanation and she gave her thanks.

As she put Evan to sleep she blocked his vision of Jayne so Simon could check the wound. Being the young boy he was Evan wasn't very tired, or so he said, but with everything that had happened the excitement proved too much for him and after a few stories from Cassidy he fell asleep. Cassidy brought a chair over to the side of Jaynes bed where she could reach both him and Evan if needed and spent a moment looking back and forth between the two of them. She never thought they would be together again…of course the circumstances could be better but she had hope.

Much like Evan had done earlier, Cassidy reached over for Jayne's hand that even dwarfed her own and clung to it. She marveled at the hand that had done so much for her. Taught her to throw a knife when she was almost too young, danced with her, led her through a field after their son…fought for her…fought for Evan.

"Jayne, I don't know if you can hear me…but I have something to tell you," she was past keeping things to herself, she could no longer protect herself from Jayne. "I love you…I know I should have thrown caution to the wind and told you long ago…but fear used to control so much of my actions…not any more. It was you that reminded me of my strength, that that's one thing that can't be stolen from me. Jayne you have to wake up so I can thank you…" she moved her other hand up to caress his cheek.

"I know that I shouldn't try to hold on to someone like you. Like Bryant, you love to chase adventures, but I just need you to know that you own my heart through all of them. You and this little boy over here who wants you to wake up just as bad." She looked at the face that had never looked so pale and faltered for a second, "everyone here wants you to pull through Jayne…please don't leave us."

It was the beginning of the vigil over Jayne Cobb.


	16. Chapter 16

**Ok guys so sorry for leaving you hanging like that but I'm nearing the end of this story so I can't help that I drag my feet a little. **

**Fett012000: sorry that was pretty angst ridden but I didn't want to rush…lol**

**Captain-Rogue-River: hope this delivers what you're waiting for!**

**Kayli: I tried to make it as fast as I could!**

**You guys are apparently my only regular readers, or at least regular reviewers so really that apology is for you!**

**Also I hope this will make up for it**

All through the night Simon came periodically to check on Jayne's vitals…and each time he came he hoped Cassidy would be sleeping, but she never was. She didn't want to sleep just in case Jayne woke up for even a moment, so she didn't. It wasn't really a hard task considering her thoughts were turning over a mile a minute. It also gave her time to finally accept that Evan was really right next to her, safe and sound…if only his father was in the same condition.

Wash had taken off the second they had dragged Jayne on board and for the moment anyways Serenity had no direction programmed, she was drifting. Mal considered taking Jayne to an actual hospital but he knew the mans record and knew that he wouldn't be welcomed there, or they would arrest him the second he woke up. Knowing Jayne like he thought he did made Mal believe that if he was going to die he would prefer to do it here so they had nothing to do but wait.

In the early morning he looked in on his merc and saw Cassidy trying to get Evan to eat his breakfast.

"Mommy I don't want to eat that…I don't know what it is."

Disgruntled, Cassidy replied, "it's food Evan."

"Why don't we wake Daddy so he can make something better?"

Cassidy had to smile at that…she really was a horrible cook, thankfully she was saved by Mal when he said, "the second he wakes up I promise I'll have him dish up the whole crew something to eat." Oh how he couldn't wait to make good on that promise…if Jayne would just wake up.

Crew members came in and out all day to see how Jayne was doing. Evan spent most of the time going to play with Wash and his dinosaurs and anyone else willing. Cassidy marveled at how comfortable he became so quickly with these people…he would be just fine. Everyone took it upon themselves to see that Cassidy ate so by the end of the day she had eaten enough to feed five people her size…but she didn't want them to have to worry about her too.

It was late in the evening when Evan came back to her full of stories and candy if his face was any indication…these people needed to spend more time with kids it seemed. He was also in the middle of climbing up on her lap with a small train that he had found lord only knows where when his foot slipped and caught the tray holding her coffee. It had been sitting so it wasn't overly hot but it still shocked her when it poured down the entire front of her. After Evans apology she asked him to stay put and play while she went to change. She would only be gone a minute.

Jayne was dreaming. It was a good dream…everyone was there. There were his parents, his siblings, Cassidy and Evan, but they weren't what immediately caught his attention. No, because Cassidy's parents were also there with her siblings as well as Natalie…and Bryant. In the background he kept hearing people talk to him, but he couldn't make out the words, he knew Cassidy by voice and most of the crew…but what they were saying just wasn't clear.

"She'll tell you again," Bryant said, and his voice was as clear as he remembered, he walked right up to Jayne and grabbed his shoulder in their familiar greeting.

It hurt Jayne to remember it…he hadn't allowed himself time to grieve about the people that left his life and now those wounds were made fresh again. "This means I'm dead doesn't it?" It was said in a tone that sounded both forlorn and accepting.

"Not yet my friend, do you want it to?"

Jayne, couldn't lie to this Bryant that his mind probably just conjured up in his delirium, "I still have things to do…to take care of."

"To make up for" Bryant finished. The hurt reflected in Jaynes eyes spurred the apparition on, "that isn't me Jayne, it's your thought, one that is keeping you back from so many things."

"I should have done more."

"We all should have, I should have protected my family better but regrets are useless."

"I didn't do right by them."

"Forgive yourself Jayne, and if you still can't then you better wake up and figure out how to do right by them from now on."

Jayne felt strength flowing into him from everywhere in his dream, from the people living and dead, "I'll try." He lifted his own arm to grab Bryants shoulder in return but only grasped air.

"It's not your time brother. Take care of my sister and raise Evan right." He didn't know where his dream was taking him but now he was hearing a younger voice barely discernable and he worked to hear it. The weird thing was that the harder he tried to hear the more his chest ached. It was a song…one Cassidy used to sing to Evan. He used to love to hear her sing, only it wasn't her singing now…the voice was broken and very young.

Somewhere, despite the horrible ache in his chest he found the strength to open his eyes to find the source of the lullaby. It took him a long minute to process what he was seeing. There on the floor by his feet was a little boy. Jayne felt his throat go dry…wow had he grown. He felt shame at knowing he didn't recognize him instantly…but it had been so long.

He blinked back what he convinced himself was just irritation from being asleep and called, "Evan?" His voice sounded strange and harsh to his own ears but Evan raised his head instantly and his eyes grew wide with excitement.

"Daddy…" it was a whisper that completely contradicted what he did next. It only took a moment for him to launch himself up on the bed and across Jaynes chest to give him his best bear hug. It knocked Jayne's breath away, thank god he didn't weight much Jayne thought as he hid his gasps of pain while slowly, gently lifting Evan up and moving him next to him while returning the embrace as much as the cords connected to him would allow. "I knew you would come, I kept telling mommy…" he trailed off and in a quieter tone added, "but you did take a long time."

A new pain in his chest was added, "I know Evan…"

"They hurt mommy." Evan blurted, he had decided to tell everything, even things mommy said were secret because his dad could fix it…he just had to know about it first, "they hurt her real bad."

Jayne watched the solemn look that looked so out of place on a face so young and cursed again whatever was irritating his eyes. Before he could open his mouth to respond Evan continued.

"You have to make sure they can't hurt her anymore ok?" Jayne managed a nod before Evan lowered his head and started making circles on his arm with his fingers, "she can't cry anymore, will you promise not to make her cry either?" He shouldn't have been surprised about the serious conversation coming out of his son, not after what he had been through, but hell it was more promises than he made at their wedding…and he was in whole-hearted agreement with each and every one of them.

"You have to make sure right?" Jayne didn't know where Evan was going with this new one though.

"Make sure about what?"

Exasperated Evan said, "about your promises of course! You have to make sure you keep them so you have to stay with us right?" There it was.

Jayne lifted his arm and hugged his boy to him to kiss his forehead and say, "that's a promise." Evan laughed and Jayne instantly made it a personal goal to make him laugh more often.

"I have to go tell," Evan announced as he was climbing down Jaynes bed and took off before waiting for a response.

Cassidy had just walked up when she saw Evan dart out of the room and was about to go after him when she glanced into the infirmary. Jayne was smiling as he looked at the door that Evan just disappeared from…he was awake.

_Breath Cassidy_ she told herself, and she ran.

She reached him in a second and before she could think or talk herself out of it, before her mind could catch up with her heart she kissed him with everything that was in her. She kissed him for all the times they hadn't and should have. She kissed him to make up for their wedding kiss, to make up for all the missed moments and all the words unsaid…all the regrets.

It didn't take him any time at all to answer. He kissed her with the passion that made him who he was and in that same moment he swore he would never give Cassidy up. It was a demanding kiss. His arms reached around her and forced her against his chest mindless of his injury, he just wanted more.

Unfortunately for him it caused the opposite reaction. Cassidy jerked back instantly concerned and asked, "did I hurt you?" She reached out to see if his wound was alright but he intercepted her hand and used it to pull her into another kiss. This one was softer, almost lazy as he pondered how quickly he had become addicted to her taste. He took advantage when she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. Cassidy couldn't think straight, his lips were making all her thoughts turn to mush…there was something she had wanted to say, a reason she pulled back but she couldn't remember and it didn't matter anymore, his idea was so much better.

"Daddy's kissing mommy!" Evans excitement rang through the room.

"Yes, it would appear so," Mal replied beyond amused as he saw Jayne and Cassidy pull apart smiling and blushing respectively, "should we come back?"

"Maybe"

"No" Jayne and Cassidy said at the same time.

Mal decided, for once, to be on Jaynes side, "Lets go get some more of that chocolate Inara has stashed." He didn't even pause when he reached down to scoop Evan up onto his shoulders and walk away.

He was already halfway down the hall before Cassidy reached the door, "you're putting him to bed Mal!" she called down to him and saw him raise his arm in response. When she turned back to her husband Jaynes eyes were closed and he almost appeared asleep.

"Why did you come back?"

The question shocked her, "you honestly think I would have left you…" she moved to sit in the chair by his side.

"You should have" he interrupted her.

"Well I'm sorry," she misinterpreted his reply, "next time you're dying I'll just be on my merry way." Lord she looked kissable when she was indignant. In a move completely uncharacteristic of Jayne, he lifted up his hand and cupped the side of her face slightly rubbing the swollen area over her cheek where she had been hit with the gun. It was a deep purple in color and he grew enraged all over again because of it.

"I can't seem to keep you safe." As much as she wanted to lean into his touch, the stinging sensation reminded her of what it must look like. Simon had offered to give her something but she had brushed him aside…now, self-consciously her hand moved up to her face where she covered her cheek and blushed, she probably looked a mess.

Backing a little away from him she said, "well…all that's over now."

Jayne felt it necessary for some reason to remind her "…he got away."

"Yes I know" she couldn't add anything more, how is it they could only manage to have these open talks when he was on a hospital bed?

"I wanted to finish him so bad but It was all a bluff Cassidy, I had no more bullets left and if he had decided to test me...I don't think I could have fought anymore." He trailed off and it was apparent to Cassidy that he was still very tired. She smiled at the explanation he had offered up, she had never asked for one but was glad he had shared all the same.

"Get some rest Jayne, we'll be here when you wake up," and he did just that.


	17. Chapter 17

**Rating goes up now, you know what that means. **

**Kayli: Thanks so much for sticking with me! Glad you enjoyed it.**

**Queenjane 516: If it's any comfort, the epilogue might develop into a mini-sequel.**

**Captain-Rogue-River: Unfortunately not much time for father-son moments but later there will be…they have some lost time to make up for.**

**Badkarma00: I'm so happy to have a new reviewer! Thanks so much for the complements. **

**Hope this extra long chapter makes up for the delay. **

Cassidy stayed by his side for the entire night, once Evan came back to her ready for bed she fell asleep with him and finally got some rest herself.

She slept deep and didn't wake when Kaylee came to get Evan for breakfast. When the crew came to talk to Jayne he shushed them all to let Cassidy rest so when she finally woke up it was to a crowded room full of whispering people.

"He probably didn't go far."

"We can't give him enough time to reassemble, it has to be as soon as possible."

"I can find him tomorrow."

Cassidy recognized her husbands voice, "you're all insane if you're talking about starting anything after all that has happened," Cassidy sat up as she talked hoping, despite just waking up, that she could get her point across.

"We didn't start anything Cass, we're just going to finish it," Jayne responded.

"_We_ aren't going to do anything, we aren't even going to think of doing anything. For Gods sake Jayne you have a hole in your chest!"

"Ah hell I can go after him now."

Her exasperation was clear and Mal figured that getting in the middle of an argument between the two of them wasn't a good idea…but Jayne didn't seem to notice that now wasn't the best time to fight with his wife. Therefore, Mal decided to intervene, "tell them Wash."

Wash was waiting for a time to break the news, "no ones going anywhere any time soon. It seems like our man has some other enemies here in Destiny…enemies in high places, all ships are grounded for at least a week."

"Well what if they get to him before I do!" Jayne was still itching for a fight.

"Good riddance," Cassidy said.

"They won't," Mal said at the very same time, "they don't know where to look." Jayne and Mal shared a glance. "All you have to focus on is getting well so we can go after him." Thank God Mal was for once on her side Cassidy thought…Jayne had some major healing to do whether he wanted to or not.

Cassidy's policy only lasted so long thought since Jayne only stayed in bed the first three days, and by the fifth he was nearly back to normal. Cassidy knew he had to be hiding a lot of pain but she believed Simon when he told her that he was healing remarkably well.

Cassidy spent most of the time trying to avoid him because when she couldn't they argued. Jayne wanted to fight and Cassidy wanted to forget everything and let the authorities handle things…she didn't want Jayne to get more hurt, but of course he didn't see it that way.

On the fifth day it got worse.

"There's no way you're going now Jayne Cobb!"

"Cassidy we're wasting time!"

"Are you that in a hurry to leave me a widow and Evan fatherless?"

"You didn't want to marry me to begin with!"

"Because I never wanted to make you tie your life to this mess of mine!"

"Well you sure were in a hurry to marry someone else."

"You know why!"

"That's no longer a valid reason Cassidy!"

There was the stab in the heart Cassidy knew was coming, "If that's how you feel, then why did you never send for a divorce? I mean you did think I left you after all…"

Quieter, Jayne got to the heart of the matter, "Is that what you want? Is this where we finally succumb and get a divorce to go our separate ways?" He was terrified of her answer. What if she said yes? What if this was it…he didn't think he could deal with her disappearing from his life again. To disrupt any answer she might have given he pulled her to him and shocked her silent with a kiss. His original goal was just to distract her enough to forget an answer, but he became just as distracted the second his lips touched hers. It didn't take long for Cassidy to lose some of her anger and kiss back but her response ate at Jaynes conscience so he pulled back and spoke about what worried him most, "you shouldn't be married to me anyways, you deserve…" he trailed off when she placed a finger on his lips to shush him.

"Don't I have a say in the matter?" Then she saw the guns on the table behind him and she remembered why she was mad at him to begin with, "but it won't really matter if you're so determined to get yourself killed! I already thought you were going to die on me Jayne, I don't want to go through that again…if you leave tonight consider that your divorce."

Jayne was shocked silent and just watched as Cassidy walked out of the room. How could she do that to him? One second she has his pulse racing and the next for a whole different reason. Like hell he was going to let her control his actions like that though! However confused he was over the divorce issue he considered it something to be thought about at a later time, after he made sure a certain someone would never enter their lives again. All his plans went out the window though when he found out how much the rest of the crew agreed with Cassidy, he really didn't have a say in the matter…he couldn't get off the ship.

Cassidy hoped he wouldn't walk out, wouldn't force her hand…she didn't want a divorce but she didn't want him to die either! Pushing the thoughts aside she went looking for her son who was fast becoming the ships mascot. This time he was playing jacks with Kaylee and River but the second she entered the room he ran to her, "Mommy, I'm winning!"

"Is that so?" She asked beyond pleased to see him so safe and happy…almost like he belonged here. Evan didn't waste time on an answer but ran back to see if it was his turn yet.

"They won't let him leave," River announced as Evan bounced his ball used to her statements that he never really understood. Kaylee and Cassidy both turned to her though and Cassidy found a relieved smile, one more day she didn't have to worry about Jayne.

"Thank you."

When River smiled in return Cassidy joined them in their game to forge bonds and forget the complications for a moment. Cassidy was laughing at one of Kaylees stories when Inara walked in. She wanted to know if Evan was interested in visiting her shuttle for the night so he could watch and learn the stars. Of course she made it sound like some type of adventure and Evan was instantly excited. Inara knew that with all that had happened Cassidy and Jayne hadn't had much alone time together and since Jayne was feeling better they might need some so she had come up with a way to occupy Evan for a night to give his parents some privacy. Cassidy didn't immediately know what Inara's motive was but she had no reason to deny Evan the right to see some stars so she gave her consent.

When evening approached Inara sought out Evan and suggested to Cassidy that she go talk to her husband, which Cassidy considered odd since she had decided to do just that.

Jayne had been moved to a room close to the infirmary since Simon said he shouldn't be climbing the stairs to his room just yet. On nights Evan didn't spend watching stars he rotated between sleeping with Jayne and Cassidy which made it a little awkward since Cassidy was, for the time being, sleeping in Jaynes room. The crew had made it childproof and censored which Cassidy assumed was them anticipating the need...not them assuming their relationship had proceeded further than it had.

Cassidy had had time to get over her anger and she began to feel bad about how she had treated Jayne. She went to his room to wait for him and to apologize for how she acted earlier but she had no idea that he would take so long and before she knew it she was fast asleep.

Jayne had spent the day pouring over maps and ideas with Mal and it was Inara who reminded them both how late it was when she said that Evan wanted to say goodnight.

Evan ran and hugged his fathers leg and Jayne wasted no time, he bent down and scooped him up to hold him against his side.

"Daddy when you're better can you play with me?"

Jayne was already feeling guilty for how much of his time was being absorbed…he just got Evan back, he didn't want to lose him again. So he replied, "the second I get the doctors ok we'll play all sorts of ball games."

Evan was pleased with the promise and left with Inara who, with a backwards glance told Jayne he needed a shave. What a time to mention something like that he thought…then he rubbed his chin and realized that she was right…but he still had better things to do. With that, he cleaned up and left to his temporary room to get some undistracted rest.

He found his distraction asleep in his bed. He was still a bit sore with what they had argued about earlier but the sight of her in his bed still took his breath away. His attention was drawn to her pink lips that were slightly parted in her sleep and slowly his gaze drifted down to her chest that was slightly rising and falling. He was snapped out of it when he noticed that her breathing was growing labored and her forehead was creased in worry. It was when she started to thrash that he actively began trying to wake her.

Cassidy woke up to shaking and was terrified and fought Jayne for a second until she recognized him, then she instantly threw herself at him.

"It was just a nightmare Cass," he tried to be reassuring and hoped that it was working.

When she realized that she was clutching around his middle she released him and sat back against his bed, "I know…but they never feel that way." She looked up into his eyes and continued, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier Jayne, I was just so afraid of losing you that the fear was more than I could take."

Relieved that she hadn't meant what she said he smiled and pulled her closer to him, "I'm not going anywhere Cassidy."

Tucking her head under his chin she breathed in his scent, "not if I have anything to do about it."

Jaynes grip suddenly tightened when he remembered when Cassidy tried to shield him from the gun and he grew angry again over her safety. "You were a fool for trying to protect me," he said to the top of her head.

Cassidy smiled and decided to take the jump, "a fool in lo…" she stopped when he quickly jerked her away from him and held her at arms distance.

"Don't say it Cass!" His words contradicted his mind because he desperately wanted to hear her say it but he didn't want her to trap herself either, "Don't say it Cassidy because if you do then I'm gonna kiss you and not let go even thought we both know it shouldn't happen."

Hurt, Cassidy tried to get him to understand how much she needed him, "I know you probably don't want a woman like me, but…"

"Gorram it Cassidy that's crazy talk, I can't remember the last time I wanted a woman as much as I want you. It's you that shouldn't be with me, you should be with a rich, educated man."

"I'm tired of hearing who I should be with…Jayne I wanted you to kiss me forever, you just took that long to get to it."

Jayne had to sit down…he never once considered the fact that she might want to be married to him…that she might want _him_. It scared and delighted him at the same time and he could say nothing as she turned towards him and continued.

She had just wanted to come to apologize but after his words she found that she wanted so much more, "I feel their touch even now and it haunts me that they still hold that over me," she walked towards him and placed her hands on his shoulders, "I need you to wipe their touch away. I want a new a new memory…a good memory."

Jayne hoped he was hearing her correctly…he couldn't deny her the right to know pleasure and despite all his lingering feelings of unworthiness he could find no other argument…and he didn't want to. Wasting no more time he eased her into sitting sideways on his lap and brought his mouth down on hers.

**Lemon from this point on…**

This was something Cassidy could get used to, she opened her mouth when she felt Jayne tease with his tongue and melted into him as her tongue began to timidly duel with his. Jayne nudged her leg until she turned to straddle him and he slowly, deliberately moved his hands down from her shoulders, along her sides to her hips. When he pulled back to look at her he grew proud to see that her lips were swollen from his kisses. Then, her light brown eyes captured his own and he lost himself, he pulled her sharply to him right against the evidence of his arousal.

She gasped and, on instinct, backed up a little so she could look down between them at the bulge still hidden by his pants. The feeling of him against her was amazing but she still couldn't completely banish what that stiffness meant.

Jayne didn't like the look that crossed her face, "it isn't hard to hurt you Cass" and he hoped that was reassuring. She knew that in so many ways it could be, but when she looked up into his eyes she remembered that this was the man that she loved, he would no sooner hurt her than chop off his arm. She trusted him with her heart…she could trust him with her body as well. Moving back over him like he positioned her she lowered her complete weight on him and when he shifted slightly to make the contact better she gasped at the sensation.

It was clear that she was having trouble breathing and Jaynes ego swelled. He continued to slightly pull her against him as he moved up against her until she took over the movement for him. He kissed her cheek and moved to her ear where his breath made her tremble and he whispered words she didn't fully understand. He kissed along her neck as he moved his hands to the bottom of his shirt to pull it over his head but Cassidy stopped him.

"Let me." He was driving her crazy and she wanted to do what she could to return the favor. Her hands went under his shirt and moved up the front of his chest brushing over the planes of his chest and pulling up the shirt until she had removed it…then she went for his belt and this time it was Jayne that stopped her.

"Not yet, or this will be over before we get to the good stuff."

He helped Cassidy remove her shirt and cupped her breast in his hand as he moved his kisses to her shoulder and Cassidy gasped at the sensation as he rubbed his thumb over her nipple and gently massaged it. His other hand he reached behind her and worked the bra fastening open. When he pulled it off her he just stared at a woman he should have no right to in a perfect world but who was his wife in this one. She tried to cover herself with her arms but she stopped after seeing the disappointment in his face, he was her husband, he had a right to see her…she shouldn't be embarrassed in front of him so she found courage and lowered her arms and saw him look into her eyes understanding the significant of her trust in him.

Jayne slowly stood easing Cassidy to stand on the floor. He returned to kissing her as his hands moved to her waistband and behind to grab her butt and pull her against him. When their bare chests touched Cassidy threw her arms around her husband and pulled him closer. His hard chest felt sinful against her and she wanted to feel more. She felt his fingers ease into the front of her pants as he moved to remove them and she heard them drop. His touch was teasing as he slipped down her underwear all the while hoping she wouldn't freeze up on him.

In the dim light he took advantage of her openness and studied her. Damn, she was so beautiful, how did he get this lucky? Not wasting a moment for her to get nervous on him he lifted her up and laid her in the middle of the bed and followed her down. He had purposely left his pants on, he didn't want to go too fast for her but he didn't know how long he could last with the feel of her under him.

It was when he turned to kiss her that he noticed something was wrong, her eyes were closed and her jaw clenched. Jayne eased off of her a little and moved to her side.

Worried that she had done something wrong Cassidy asked, "why did you stop?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With all my heart," she honestly answered.

Jayne had figured it out in his head even though Cassidy might not have. He had never been with a virgin before and while Cassidy wasn't one technically she was emotionally and he had acted too domineering so he moved slower and said, "tell me if I go too far." He moved to kiss her and was proud that she answered fervently. Then he moved down kissing along her neck and moved down to her breasts where he gently squeezed one while moving his mouth down on the other. Cassidy shifted and gasped at the sensations he was causing. When he started to suckle she made nail marks on his shoulders to hold him against her. Jayne moved to her other breast and caused the same reaction but at the same time he moved his hand down the flat of her stomach and noticed that her legs were tightly closed, "tell me no Cass."

His whisper against her nipple caused a pleasant shiver to run through her and she marveled at the absurdity of his request, "I can't…please kiss me again."

Moving back up Jayne did as requested. His kiss was fierce and demanded a response she was very eager to give but was too short-lived. Jayne pulled away and explained, "I need to do more than kiss Cass. Tell me no now or I won't be able to stop." Then he proved his point by moving against her hip proving how much he needed to do more.

Cassidy loved him even more for how much she knew he was doing for her and holding back. She hadn't realized how much she was still closing off to him so she slowly opened her legs while looking straight into her husbands eyes and moved her legs to either side of him as her answer.

Jayne moaned and kissed her deeply as he moved his hand between them to cup her sex. She gasped and pulled away from the kiss as she pushed against his hand with her hips wanting something more that she didn't understand. Jayne did, he slipped a finger into her and moved his thumb over her bundle of nerves and Cassidy arched her back unable to stop her movements. She didn't know what Jayne was doing to her but it felt too good to care, something was building in her and she just wanted to reach it. Then she felt his mouth against her and his tongue replaced his finger and she was lost. His stubble was acting on a whole other level of stimulus and she was glad he hadn't shaved. It didn't take long until Cassidy reached down to hold his head against her as a wave of intense pleasure washed over her…and kept washing over her.

Her trembling both satisfied and aroused Jayne, he needed to be inside her. He quickly removed his pants and boxers and when he looked at Cassidy he noticed her studying him and a new concerned look crossed her features. That was exactly what he didn't want to give her time for. Of course she ruined his presumptions when she lowered her hand to grasp him. Jayne lowered his head with a grunt against her shoulder as she studied the part of him in her hand. He thought he might die, but he would give her time to grow acquainted with him.

Cassidy had seen a mans penis before, but…Jayne had to know that he was huge and…well she wasn't. She slid her hand from base to tip and said what she thought was obvious, "I don't think it will fit."

Jayne was too concentrated on controlling his breathing to make much of a logical argument so he just said, "It will fit."

"It won't hurt?"

Exasperated, Jayne asked a question in response, "Did what I just do to you hurt?" He found it beautiful that she blushed like she had a reason to be embarrassed. She wanted him, she was just confused about the signs that showed it. The sensations were so new to her, she was just beginning to understand how someone could become lost in this.

Not waiting for an answer Jayne kissed her and moved his hands down to her knees that he pulled up on either side of him which pushed his sex right against her and Cassidy lifted her hips and ground against him. She felt the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach grow again and wanted more.

Jayne could hear his blood pounding in his ears, he couldn't wait any longer. He pulled back and aligned himself. Just as he was about to enter her he paused and looked into her eyes, "your mine Cass, now and forever."

Touched beyond belief Cassidy raised her hands to hold his face between them, "I have always been yours Jayne…always."

His kiss was brutal and controlling, he was losing himself and Cassidy was being swept up in it. As his tongue entered her mouth he surged into her and swallowed the gasp she made. Jayne felt it all the same and tensed, "God Cass did I hurt you?" He was past the point of being able to stop but needed to know.

Cassidy felt full and complete—it was an incredibly wonderful feeling and she lifted her hips to rotate against his own to experiment and caused whole new bursts of pleasure. "God Jayne don't stop now," she breathed.

He took that as a no and could have cheered. His wife was so tight he knew he wouldn't last long, she gripped him as he withdrew halfway and when he pushed back into her she met him halfway and wrapped her legs around his waist to allow him better access.

As Jayne thrust into her, Cassidy looked down between them. For the first time she was fascinated at the process and watched as he repeatedly disappeared into her. It was incredibly erotic and when she pulled Jayne down for another kiss she felt like she was burning up.

Her whimpers were driving him crazy and he found himself struggling to hold back.

Cassidy didn't know what she was asking but she needed him to let go, "faster Jayne." He heard and answered, but still he hesitated…until he heard her demand, "harder, I'm not going to break!" That was all he needed. Moving almost out of her he slammed back in to the hilt and Cassidy moaned at the feeling. He thrust into her over and over and felt her tightening against him as he felt his own end approach.

"Look at me Cass," he ordered. Her eyes were shut from the feelings but she opened her eyes and looked Jayne in the eye. He held her gaze wanting, needing to see her overcome and needing her to see who it was causing her to feel this way.

Cassidy was being swallowed up and had to tell him, "I love you Jayne."

Hearing what he wanted to hear so badly completed Jayne. He thrust hard and Cassidy threw her head back arching against him and screamed out his name. Jayne joined her at the same moment, answering with yell of his own. He made a few smaller thrusts prolonging their orgasm as she milked his seed from him and then collapsed against her.

He moved to the side to not crush her but Cassidy rolled with him because she didn't want to break their intimate connection just yet. Jayne had never lost himself like that…it was scary how far his wife pulled him from his usual comfort zone but he found he didn't care—he had pleasured his wife and was plenty satisfied himself, what more was there?

Jaynes bubble was burst when he saw her tears, instantly concerned, "you said I didn't hurt you."

"You didn't."

He didn't understand so asked, "then why are you crying?"

After a moments hesitation Cassidy answered. "You should have been my first Jayne. They didn't have the right, it should have been you."

For once, Jayne was quick to understand and he pulled her flush against him, "Cassidy what we just had you've had with no one else so I was your first…right?" He left off the part that he had never experienced anything that powerful either which, with that logic, made it his first as well.

She nodded, happy beyond words, "and the last, Jayne."

"Past, present and future huh?"

she answered with a kiss.

**Sounds like the end…really isn't. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Kayli: Thanks, hope to keep you interested until the end!**

**Captain-Rogue-River: I really hope that a lot of my readers don't assume that they have to read parts they don't care for which is why I labeled it. I included it because I felt like it was an important part of their story but don't feel obligated at all. I'm glad you enjoyed what you did read! Evan is around 3 years old but is left vague since I haven't defined exact time periods. I would love to read your story just let me know!**

**Thanks everyone for patience! The next chapter is the last one unless I decide to put up the epilogue so I hope you stay with me! **

Jayne slowly woke in the early morning and smiled as he felt his wife snuggled against his side. Taking his time, he took in the view and marveled at his luck. He moved one of her curls to behind her ear and studied her porcelain profile. Jayne has been known to be called many things but 'husband' was never one of them and it gave him a weird feeling to call himself one…but at the same time he wanted to be Cassidy's husband and in that moment, realizing he wanted to wake up like this everyday, his mind was made up.

Jayne moved his hand softly down her back with one thought in mind, but paused and was startled when he felt a small ridge forming a line down her back…and another one. Moving so as not to wake her, Jayne eased the covers off her back so he could see clearly. His mood quickly turned black.

Scars crisscrossed her back and Jayne knew the harsh jagged lines to only be formed from a whip. Not wasting a second, Jayne studied the rest of his wife's body that had been partially hidden in the dark of the night. The thin pale scars on numerous parts of her body told the rest of her story…the part that she left out…one cause of her nightmares. Only her back was scarred by a whip, but that didn't relieve Jayne for he knew the rest of the scars were only smooth because they were caused by something much sharper. Jaynes hands were shaking with fury…they had done this to her. Trying to control his rage so as not to yell Jayne quickly got up and got dressed, extremely thankful for Cassidy's deep sleep, he was through waiting around. It was time for the bastard to pay.

He walked down the corridor, used the intercom to tell Mal to hurry and get ready and armed himself while he waited. Mal didn't take long after hearing the tone in Jayne's voice, after joining him he asked, "are you sure you're up for this?"

Jayne didn't think that question deserved an answer and so he just glared at Mal and began to walk towards the exit. That in itself alarmed Mal…after yesterday he had hoped that Jayne would be in a considerably better mood today. Not delaying a second longer Mal put his gun in his holster and followed his merc.

Little did Jayne know that as he left Serenity his wife was cursing him from the room below. Cassidy woke up and was shocked to find herself alone. She went through the whole gambit of emotions but mostly: shocked, hurt, and angry. How dare he? Here she poured her heart out to him and shared everything and he didn't even have the decency to stay with her? Cassidy took a deep breath and told herself to calm down, it was Jayne after all, maybe he just didn't know that you're not supposed to treat your wife that way. Especially not after sharing your first night together, didn't he know that he was supposed to hold her tight and tell her pretty things that made no sense? Oh she knew that wasn't like Jayne…but he could have at least woken her before he left. Reclining back done on the bed Cassidy mused how loving Jayne was easy…liking him at the moment was the hard part.

Turning her head Cassidy took in Jaynes scent and blushed from her memory of last night. He was so gentle and caring and…thoroughly satisfying. She couldn't help but smile at that thought, she couldn't remember when she had last felt so clean and…not linked to the ugliness of her past. She had never been with a man before they had raped her, and sometimes that thought hurt more than the memory of the actual action. Before last night she never knew it could be that way and she felt confident in assuming that her nightmares would now be replaced with much better night-images. She found happiness in knowing that here, with her son and husband, was where she could finally heal.

Lord she felt well loved. That thought stopped her…she knew she loved Jayne but she could only hope that he felt the same. He cared for her sure, but love? Should she even hope for such a thing? Deciding to take her victories one at a time Cassidy got up to get dressed and make breakfast for Evan knowing, with confidence, that the rest of the crew would never let Jayne go off and do something stupid…not after he was just beginning to heal.

Mal was thinking much the same thing at the moment but while he might ponder his own sanity he never questioned how Jayne always knew where they were going or how to get answers. He knew Jayne had a past and Mal used those skills of Jayne's to his advantage…but still, at moments like that, when Mal saw the dingy bar come into view Mal had to wonder. Just what was Jayne tracking that led them to that place?

Jayne knew that the person he was hunting wasn't one to disappear into the mist, someone here would have to know something, heard anything. The second he barged into the building he spoke loud and clear, "I'm looking for a man who led the Divine Right and anyone else who calls themselves part of that group." Jayne scanned his audience as he spoke and found his target almost instantly…a man trying to disappear into the back.

Jayne nodded at Mal to cover the door and his back as he pushed forward throwing chairs and tables out of his way. It only took a second for him to intercept the man before he got to an exit. He reached over and grabbed his shoulder turning him to face him, "seems like you're in a hurry to leave little man." Jayne didn't have to work to be intimidating but the rage was still flowing hot and he wanted to beat the first person who gave him reason to and it showed.

Everyone could tell that the man was terrified, he threw his hands in the air as a gesture of surrender but Jayne wanted answers not gestures. Grabbing the man by the front of his shirt he lifted him up and shoved him into the wall behind him, "I have creative ways of making you talk," he growled at him.

The small mans eyes grew wide and he began to stutter, "I ddon't know anything." Jayne could tell just from looking at him that he wasn't involved in any of the real dirty work, he was too timid and scared out of his mind. He used that to his advantage.

"You're actions are telling," Jayne said as he eased his grip just a tiny bit to give the man room to breath, "I can either make you pay for the lives he's destroyed or you can point me in the right direction." When the man hesitated Jayne lost his tiny bit of control. "Where did he go?!" Jayne punctuated each word with a fierce shake, he wasn't going to lose the trail now…he was too close.

"I dunno," the man finally blurted out, "came in drunk out of his wits, we try not to cause trouble," the man offered as some kind of excuse while he tried to remember the incident earlier that day, "said something about finding out about a firefly." He was happy to be able to offer that much information at least but his mood quickly turned when he saw the expression that came over his captives face.

Jayne suddenly found himself to be the terrified one as he completely lost his grip and the man fell to the floor. "Mal!" he yelled as he turned and began to run. Mal saw his expression and knew it was bad, without a word he fell into stride beside him and they ran as fast as they could back to Serenity while Jayne told him what he found out.

"We left the whole gorram crew with them Jayne, he won't be able to do anything." Mal was trying to be reassuring but he knew he was failing for the simple reason that he didn't know this man the way Jayne and his family did.

Jayne heard the words but he didn't take time to pause for hope. He didn't feel the pain in his chest or even his boots hitting the ground, all he knew was that nothing, and he meant nothing, was going to stop him now. He lost Cassidy and Evan once and there was no way in hell he was going to lose them again. As he saw her imagine in his mind he found new energy…he couldn't lose her and that thought alone was what made him admit to himself the one thing that he had been pushing to the back of his mind. That despite every excuse he had come up with and every failure on his part…he loved her. Finally acknowledging that renewed his purpose and he found strength to sprint ahead, he focused on how he would tell her to keep his mind off of the ugly possibility that he might not get the chance to.

Cassidy had settled Evan at the table in the kitchen and left to find Kaylee who had wanted to eat with them. Wash explained that she left to do some close foraging and was in hearing range so she went to go call for her. Cassidy said good morning to all the crew she passed trying not to notice certain missing members and walked alone to unlock the airlock. She took one step around the corner and quite literally ran into the man of her nightmares. He gripped her shoulders until they ached while Cassidy's mind raced…all she had to do was make a single loud noise and the crew would hear…but so would Evan and, since he was the closest, he would get there first. She would die before letting him get to the door behind her and to Evan. Unable to think fast enough she saw him grin: he had her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks to my reviewers for your support! I would have never been motivated to make it further without your kind words! **

**Ok so I lied…there's one more chapter before the possible epilogue…It makes me sad to think that this is the end of my story…so I choose not to. After all, there's more to their story so I will post an epilogue which might possibly lead into a mini sequel. **

"Oh Cassidy, you're not going to enjoy this I'm afraid,"

"Why are you threatening me…do you think you can take anything more from me?" His grin sickened her, but she knew something he didn't…he had nothing. Without Evan, he had no power over her, and there was no way he was going to get Evan. With that in mind she did something she never thought she would do in his presence: she breathed. He was at the end of the line and he didn't realize it, even if he killed her right now he would never get Jayne or Evan and her death would be all the warning the rest of the crew would need to protect themselves.

Her monster maneuvered her to walk a few more steps away from the ship to which she didn't fight, she watched what really worried her, the gun in his holster.

"Always so easy to control aren't you Cassidy Dartimeen?"

Her maiden name sounded foreign and she realized that it was because that it represented a person she no longer was. In a second she made up her mind, he didn't have Evan as leverage this time…she was done appeasing him. Smiling in his face she said, "it's Cobb you bastard" and kneed him in the groin.

His grip lessened as he hunched over and groaned but just as Cassidy turned to run he tackled her legs and caused her to fall to the ground

"You're mine bitch" he whispered in her ear sounding pathetic as he gasped from pain and crawled over her. In his shock from her actions he never noticed her pull the gun from his side.

Looking up at him, in a position she swore to kill him for putting her in again, she answered, "Never." Before she had time to comment further his weight was lifted from her and she saw the sun.

Jayne had him by the back of his shirt…the second he caught sight of the man over Cassidy he stopped thinking clearly. All he knew was that this man had touched what was his. He finally had his hands on the man that took so much from him, from his wife and son, and from the people that were no more.

"You're supposed to have died!"

"I did," Jayne answered, "now it's your turn."

Jayne threw punches that would have crippled a weaker man. All his anger was finally focused on a target and he was letting it all go. He realized that his fists were bleeding as were various parts of his opponent, but it wasn't enough, he was holding him up at one point and realized that it would never be enough. He could torture and kill this man over and over and it would never make up for what his father and he did.

"Jayne" he heard Cassidy call softly behind him and he dropped the trash to turn to what really mattered. He started walking towards her, in his state it took him a moment to realize that she was raising her hand and she was holding a gun. He turned to look behind him at the man who had managed to stand and heard the gunshot he knew was coming. The aim was true—right through the center of his chest and Jayne was close enough to hear the man breath his last as he fell backwards in the dirt…where he belonged. Cassidy had finally defeated her monster.

He was gone.

Lord knows he never wanted her to have to kill someone but he knew that she would have to release herself—that he couldn't do it for her, and with one shot she accomplished that.

Not giving him another thought he walked over to Cassidy. Tears were streaming down her checks, "its done now isn't it?" she asked as she looked expectantly up at Jayne.

Bringing her into his embrace, "it's done Cass." he used one hand to wipe away her tears, "you're going to have to stop crying or our son will think I broke a promise with him."

"These are good tears Jayne," she said with a laugh in her voice.

"I don't think he's learned the difference."

Cassidy held her husband in a death grip and used him as a barrier between her and the body of a man she was already on her way to forgetting.

Mal and half the crew showed up after the gunshot. Mal had decided to let those most involved finish it and that he would only become involved if it was absolutely necessary, it was something Jayne and Cassidy had to do on their own but he was very glad it was over with…now he could get his ship off the ground.

Inara had stayed behind with Evan but was very relieved to see the entire crew enter the ship in one piece. She smiled when she saw Jayne with his arm around Cassidy and her against his side…almost as if they were supporting each other and perhaps they were.

Wash wasted no time getting them into the air and, after talking to Jayne, getting their route mapped out.

Evan had determined that his father liked to disappear too much so he decided not to let him out of his sight and so followed him around and even helped to clear the wounds on his hands…while asking questions of course.

"Did you hit someone?"

"Why?"

"Did Mommy cry?"

The boy was almost clairvoyant with his choice of questions and Jayne answered all of his enquires until he was satisfied.

"What are we going to do now?" he asked as he helped wrap gauze around his fathers hand.

Jayne lifted Evan to stand on the stool so they could look eye to eye honey brown meeting ocean blue. "We're going to start our life Evan, a normal one," Jayne answered.

"All of us?" Evan's excitement was palpable and Jayne found himself getting caught up.

"Of course all of us" he tousled Evans hair to show that that was a ridiculous question, "but you gotta help me."

Jayne spent time conspiring with his son and told him his whole plan. He called Evan his partner and it made him feel more important than he ever had before. He concentrated the most on the part his father called secret and Jayne succeeding in one goal when Evan began to giggle after imagining his mothers reaction to it all.

Some time later…

"Mama mama you're going to be late!" Evan bolted around the corner into the room that Inara had pulled Cassidy into as a distraction while the rest of the crew got ready. In truth, Cassidy was barely paying attention, she was thinking of the 'what now' aspect of her life and where her relationship with Jayne was…until Evan interrupted her thoughts that is.

"Late for what Evan?" Cassidy asked her son sincerely confused.

"Common, common" Evan ignored her question and just decided to pull on her until she moved to follow him.

"Wait," Inara reached out and grabbed Cassidys hand, "these are for you" she said as she handed her a small bunch of flowers, "I know they're not much…"

"They're beautiful," Cassidy said thankful but unsure about the reason behind the gift. She only had a moment to catch the smile on Inara's face before she was forced to move by Evan…it was a smile that said she knew something that Cassidy didn't.

She was led into the bay where she stopped and stood shocked since it appeared that the whole crew was assembled…waiting for her. Evan let go of her hand and ran forward and she gazed at the people around her until she caught sight of Jayne. He had shaved…and changed. In fact, most of the crew was in shiny condition.

"Common Mommy, you're supposed to be here by Daddy," Evan called as he waved her over. Cassidy stood stuck in her spot unable to speak from her confusion.

"If you want, Ill walk you down," Mal commented.

"What's going on?"

"Why don't you go ask Jayne?" Mal said as a final push to get her where she belonged.

Looking at the rest of the crew like they were crazy she walked up to her husband and looked up at him asking the silent question.

It was Book who first took pity on her, "why Cassidy," he teased, "I've never known a woman who forgot her wedding day!"

Her mouth dropped open…wedding!? Her confusion only mounted, speaking like she was sharing a secret she said, "Jayne…we're already married."

"Yah well this ones to make it right."

She couldn't process it all…he wanted to marry her all over again…surely this meant…

"You didn't even ask me!" she blurted without thinking.

"Do you need me to?" His expression was priceless, he didn't want to kneel in front of the whole crew…but he would if she asked. Then again he didn't want to risk her saying no…it was just so much easier to trick her into it.

"Why Jayne?" She needed to know that at least, so she answered his question with another one of her own.

"Well I figure you and I have made some mistakes, this is trying to make up for one of them," he awkwardly began, then continued with more strength, "that and well I hear tell that you're supposed to marry the woman you love."

"What?!" She didn't think she could become more shocked, and, yet again, he proved her wrong.

"I love you Cass…" She didn't wait for him to finish but jumped up to kiss him. When she pulled away he continued, "but don't expect me to go saying it much."

Her Laugh filled the air and Jayne thought there was no better sound in the world. She knew her husband wasn't one for soft words and, truly, once was all she needed. She wouldn't have him any other way. By admitting that he loved her he had added the last piece to her that allowed her to accept that finally things were as they were supposed to be.

As Jayne held his laughing wife he realized how long it was since he last heard her laugh like that…then he really looked at her and compared her to the woman who first walked unknowingly into Serenity and he saw the light in her eyes that he had missed and knew that they would be just fine…but that didn't mean he didn't want reassurance.

"Tell me the words," he told Cassidy, he needed to hear it.

Knowing what he wanted, Cassidy whispered, "I love you" she felt weird speaking what had previously been bedroom words but his eyes spoke volumes and she couldn't deny him.

Grinning, "tell me again."

"I love you" she said much louder and they met in another kiss.

It was Book who cleared his throat, "save that for after the ceremony if you please" he said with a smile.

Jayne and Cassidy were married for the second time in Serenity, amongst friends and with their son holding their hands between them. It was in much better circumstances and for lasting reasons…it was perfect.


	20. Chapter 20

**Captain-Rouge-River: I would respond to your suggestion but that would be a spoiler for what might come later…Thanks for continuing to read and your support!**

**Kayli: I love having regular reviews, thanks so much for being patient and sticking with me! **

**So guys this is the last chapter before the epilogue and I know I have quite a few regular readers, I hope that you can find the time to give me your honest opinion about this finished story, good parts, bad I don't care I just want to know what you thought!**

Their first weddings vows were simple to the extreme. This time around Jaynes eloquence might have been solely Books doing but the promises behind them were his. He promised to protect her and their family but this time he promised to also honor and love only her for all his days. Cassidy couldn't help but feel her eyes water when she heard him say it and she knew she wasn't alone when she heard Inara sniffle behind her.

When it came time for Cassidy to promise the same she hesitated for the briefest of moments still not completely believing that it was really happening. One squeeze from Jaynes hands however reminded her that it was real and she repeated her wedding vows.

Once it came time for the rings Cassidy was overwhelmed by guilt. In all the rush she had forgotten, looking down at her hand she noticed the absence of her wedding ring and wanted to explain…how it had been taken from her during her captivity and probably pawned away. Then she marveled that Jayne had never asked her about it and looked up to see his grin.

Jayne had know the significance of her wedding ring, her mother had given it to her saying that it was her grandmothers to be passed down and she carried it in a box on her dresser until they were married and she could wear it. It had taken him a few days to notice that she didn't have it on anymore and thought that maybe she just stopped wearing it like he had, when, after finding her goodbye note, tore it off in a fury only to later throw it in his travel bag as a reminder. It wasn't until Mal and Jayne were moving the body away from the ship that he noticed what the man was wearing around his neck, it was falling forward and Jayne, with a sharp twist, jerked it free. The bastard had worn her wedding ring around his neck…He debated on whether or not she would want it so decided to leave it up to her, but when he pulled both of their rings out of his pocket her expression alone told him his answer.

"Jayne!" she exclaimed, "how on Earth did you find it?" she moved to reach for it but Jayne closed his fist.

"Not important Cass," he waited until she looked up at him to continue, "is it ok?"

She knew what he was referring to, if she wanted to wear something that might have been tarnished by the past, but she had survived and was thankful that her family's ring would as well.

She nodded and Jayne wasted no time putting it on her finger where it belonged, Cassidy played with it a moment getting used to its familiar feel when she noticed Jayne move to put his own ring on, she snatched it from him saying, "that's my job" and followed suit.

The kiss sealed the deal, Cassidy could hear the crew and her son celebrating around her but she was focused on the love of her life. Jayne knew it was only the beginning…he had told Wash to take them to the home they had made for themselves before everything went to hell, a place that they both had and would call home…if Cassidy agreed that was. In his mind, the hard part was over, she was his and she couldn't back out of it now.

The crew of Serenity came together to make a celebratory dinner that made up in celebration what it lacked in extravagance. Jayne sat on a crate and watched his wife dance with Wash to some music Kaylee connected to the sound system. Evan was running around being chased by River in a game he called 'dancing but more fun.' None of them could have ever believed that their Jayne was married and it was even harder to believe that here he had sworn to be a one woman man for life…

Cassidy laughed and the sound made Jayne smile to himself.

"You look like a man who can't wait to get his wife alone," Mal said as he sat next to him.

"Do you blame me?" Jayne answered without looking away from his wife.

"All this time I thought you would be an eternal bachelor like me and the whole time you were married!" Mal laughed at the absurdity.

"Ah hell Mal you're one step away from being where I am."

"With a wife and kid? I don't think so"

"I do."

Mal didn't want to push and he was still curious about one thing, "I have one question…why try to trade Vera for a wife when you already had one?"

Jayne looked at Mal with an expression that showed how stupid a question it was, "the woman was all too willing and a good cook. I was trading for a woman Mal, not a wife."

Mal laughed, "only you would think that makes perfect sense."

"She doesn't fault me for it," Jayne shrugged, thankful.

"That's because she's a good person, but are you ready to be a one-woman man Jayne?"

"I wouldn't have married her if I wasn't"

"When are you telling her you're leaving us?"

Jayne was not phased by the jumps in topic. "Tonight," he answered.

Of course…it was a long night. The crew celebrated late and when Evan fell asleep in Jaynes arms he carried him to the shuttle he would share with Inara for the night, afterwards he would share their room but it was their wedding night and Inara offered.

Cassidy watched as Jayne laid Evan down and tucked him in, she felt warm inside and reached out to hold his hand when he went to the door to meet her.

Kissing her on the cheek he led her down to his room…talking the whole way.

"We're married now Cass."

"Yes I know"

"You can't take any foolish risks like you did today"

Her smile left her, she didn't know she was going to get lectured! "I didn't know he was waiting for me Jayne!"

"You left the ship alone"

Jerking her hand away she looked long and hard at him, "am I to understand that I will be under lock and key?"

"Of course not gorram it but how am I supposed to protect you if I don't know where you'll run off to next…God Cass you could have died."

The look in his eyes told her what this all stemmed from and she immediately lost her anger, "I didn't Jayne," she said as she reached up to cup the side of his face, "I'm not going to leave either." He had brought up their confrontation and it reminded her of something, "What did you mean when you said you died?"

Jayne briefly thought of pretending he didn't know what she was talking about but only for a moment before he was completely honest with her, "I've been dying for a long time Cassidy," he said as he pulled her close, they had reached his door without her even knowing, "I was barely holding on and I think I did for a little bit, but you and Evan called me back, gave my life reason again."

Cassidy kissed him and he pushed her against the wall but she laughed and turned away to open his door and go down with him right behind her.

Jayne couldn't keep his hands to himself and Cassidy didn't want him to. They made love happy to finally be at the same place together without having to worry and just plain understanding each other.

Later, when both were exhausted and about to drift to sleep Jayne quietly asked the woman in his arms what he had feared for a long time, "will you ever tell me the whole of it?"

Cassidy was draped over her husband so she knew he felt her tense, "I gave them everything I had to offer to keep Evan safe…" she trailed off until Jayne softly squeezed her. "If I ever have to Jayne, you will be the one I confide to, but I don't think I have to anymore. You have helped me move past so many things," she said as she kissed his chest causing him to take an indrawn breath. She moved up until they were eye level, "maybe one day I'll need to, but until then…I'm happy like this." Kissing his neck she couldn't help but add one more thing, "I love you Jayne Cobb."

With that he rolled over her and showed her exactly how much he loved her back…

It only took two days to reach their home planet and, after hearing Jaynes plans, Cassidy was struck dumb by the plans he had made without her.

"You're kidding Jayne, you would be giving so much up!"

He didn't consider it giving up something but gaining a family that he had spent too much time without. "Evan needs a stable place to grow up in, with people around him that don't keep disappearing. He needs to place roots."

She didn't need him to remind her what her son needed but she hated to admit he was right…"You love it on this ship," she said with Serenity slowly approaching their home.

"Yah well, its not like I won't love it here."

Cassidy had a doubtful expression, she didn't understand why Jayne was so ready to settle down when he had spent so long chasing adventures. She used every idea she could think of to keep from taking that away from him, as much as she wanted him to stay safe and with them she also wanted him to continue to do what he loves. She ever tried to convince Jayne that her and Evan would stay behind and maybe even stay with his family while he could go but he would here none of that.

The view from the ship showed Cassidy what she hadn't seen in a long time and she lost her will to fight such a stubborn husband and went to prepare Evan and their luggage. The crew accompanied them to the house Jayne had bought for them while he listed all the plans for work and Evans school that he had already arranged. It was beautiful…Evan ran through the house exploring while Cassidy followed behind giving Jayne some privacy with the crew.

"Well Jayne, we'd love to stick around, but well you know how it is in these respectful communities…"

Jayne smiled and clasped Mals outstretched hand. As many differences they had in their history together he was the closest thing Jayne had to a best friend left and in their hand-clasp it was obvious that was reciprocated, "I know, but don't be strangers." He addressed his comment to the whole crew.

"I never thought I would see the day where you would settle down," Zoe commented as she came up to hug him goodbye.

"Stay out of trouble Jayne…and if you can't I'll fly us here as fast as that ship can move," Wash added to his wife's goodbye.

"Thanks, Wash," Jayne returned genuinely thankful for his concern.

"Well I'm not really good at things like this, but I want to thank you for well at least the good parts of our interactions" Simon stumbled with his words but paused when Jayne clasped his hand like he had Mals…as friends.

"Take care of that sister of yours," Jayne added.

As if on cue, River ran up to Jayne, grabbed his shoulders and pulled herself up to whisper in his ear, "she worries about your spirit Jayne, but there's plenty of adventures left to be had." Then she quickly pulled back with a smile, hugged him and walked away without looking back, leaving Jayne speechless until Inara came up to him.

"I would say 'be good' but then again I'm talking to you and it would be wasting words," Inara said to Jaynes smirk. She reached up to pull him down so she could kiss him on the cheek and continue, "either way, take care of yourself Jayne."

Jayne was finding it harder than he thought it was going to be to say goodbye…he had no words for Inara and didn't have to try when Book came up to him for his chance at farewells.

"It is in my opinion that people never really leave each other if they have made an impression, and my boy, I believe you have made an impression," he spoke as he pulled Jayne into a hug, "besides…I have a feeling we'll meet again." When he pulled back Jayne saw a telling glisten to his eyes that caused Jayne to feel choked up and only able to smile in thanks at him.

It was Kaylee that showed the most emotion and almost proved to be Jaynes undoing. She stood by Simon who was holding her hand as a few tears escaped to fall down her cheeks and hesitated to take her turn.

"You're a good man Jayne Cobb," Kaylee said as she slowly walked up to him to give him a hug as well, "don't forget that."

Moved by the strength of her hug and words Jayne felt he had to say thanks to the crew he had been with for so long, "you guys rescued me in so many ways…thanks for the…well thanks for everything I guess," he finished awkwardly but they understood what he meant.

Cassidy and Evan had taken the time to each say their own personal goodbyes to the people that had become extended family. Cassidy tried to convince Mal to stay a bit longer but he didn't want to prolong it. Evan had never said goodbye to people, they just left and never came back so Cassidy was thankful for Inaras help when she explained that they would come to visit, that goodbye, in their case, wasn't a permanent thing.

With the last farewells Mal and the rest of the crew turned to walk back to the ship…with a noticeable absence among them.

It was Kaylee who pointed it out, finding it impossible to stay silent and act untouched, "it feels like the family it breaking up," she said with a sniffle and a backwards glace and wave.

"No mei mei," Inara said moving to put her arm around the younger girl, "his family is finally back together again."

"Take care of them Jayne!" Mal yelled to her former merc, not knowing how eerily familiar his words would sound to Jayne or the effect they had since Jayne could only raise his hand in the air as a response.

Further away, standing outside their house watching their friends leave Cassidy and Jayne stood while Evan climbed onto Jaynes back.

"Are we going to live happily ever after like in Inaras stories?" Evan asked his parents who couldn't help but share a much needed laugh over that.

"Of course we are Evan…one big happy family," Jayne said as he moved to tickle his son. As Cassidy watched everyone disappear from sight she turned to her rough-housing son and husband and thought her heart couldn't feel more full.

"Are you happy Cass?" Jayne asked her when Evan ran off to get a drink. Her smile was soft as she helped her husband stand and stood on her toes to kiss him. He had done so much for her but now she understood that this wasn't just for her happiness, but his as well.

"I'm very happy Jayne," she answered. Her past no longer haunted her, she felt safe and secure and she was with the two most important people in the world to her…yes she was happy.

And they lived happily…until the next inevitable adventure came their way.

**Remember, since this is the end of the continuous story I would really like final opinions! **

**Thanks so much**


	21. epilogue

**Thanks for sticking with me everyone! **

Quite a few months later…

Cassidy and Jayne had the advantage of not having to create their life again from scratch. They had lived together before and it was easy to make it work. Evan was understandably attached but after he realized that they weren't going anywhere he relaxed enough to actually spend time at neighbors homes and play with kids his own age.

Thankfully, the community they were involved with was very close and drew the new family in immediately. They made time to visit Jayne's family regularly since Cassidy made it a point that they would break Jayne's habit of visiting his family only once every year or so. Mrs. Cobb always knew that her son and Cassidy wouldn't be able to fight their natural attraction forever. She, like the rest of the family, was delighted to find out that Jayne had made their marriage real and valid…he of course left nothing out. Jayne's family wasn't untouched by the actions of the Divine Right and they both shared the atrocity of the night her family never lived past, Jayne's family knew that they needed each other and were happy for them.

They were nice visits but Cassidy had been suffering from a stomach flu this time around and as good as Mrs. Cobb's intentions were she caused Cassidy to dwell on the past for the first time since her second marriage to Jayne.

Cassidy had just finished apologizing to her mother-in-law for having to run off to throw up when she noticed the smile on the older woman's face.

"Oh there's no shame Cassidy, I would be delighted to welcome another grandchild into my life."

The shock and pain that crossed Cassidy's features weren't lost on her and she reached across the table to grab Cassidy's hand, "Cassidy?"

She spoke through the hesitation, "that isn't possible…me being pregnant. I'm sorry…it's just a stomach flu."

She saw the expression on Cassidy's face and knew where her memories where…and was suddenly contrite for her callous remark. "That's nothing to be sorry for Cassidy dear…" she paused trying to find words of comfort, but feared she would only make it worse so instead she asked, "Does Jayne know?" As his mother she was curious how Jayne would react to knowing that he would never have any children of his own.

Of course, she had no idea that any other comment couldn't have made Cassidy feel any worse than that one…she was sure Jayne had an idea but there was no way he could know for certain that she was barren…because she hadn't told him.

Cassidy turned to look out the window and watch her husband teach her son about the animals in their paddocks, "no" she said and it was left at that.

That conversation replayed in Cassidy's mind all day and at last when she and Jayne were settled in for the night, the feel of his arms wrapped around her gave her the courage to tell him the truth.

"I'm sorry I can't ever give you children Jayne" as she finished she felt the arms around her tighten to an almost uncomfortable level.

It was the first time she admitted the extent to her injuries and she knew her fault in that so she wanted to apologize and continued, "I know I should have told you before…" She trailed off hoping he would say something. She couldn't see his face and his thoughts were a complete mystery and the silent made her doubts grow.

Jayne knew that she had been seriously hurt…but that didn't mean he didn't leave room to hope. He was in the middle of his thoughts when Cassidy tried to pull out from his arms but he wouldn't let her and instead moved her on her back and laid over her using his weight to keep her in place. She wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"Look at me Cass," he whispered.

"I can't" she told his chest.

"Why?"

"I don't want to see the disappointment Jayne."

He softly grabbed her chin and turned her face so that she would be forced to look him in the eye, "don't go talking stupid Cass, I have a son. There's no point in wishing for something you can't have and well I have plenty."

Her smile was sad and full of her own regrets but she didn't turn away when he moved down for a kiss and she responded with the passion Jayne depended on when he moved for more. It was true, he thought, how could he have any right to ask for anything more?

In the morning Cassidy sat with her cup of tea contemplating the night before. Her confession couldn't have helped the state her husband was in. She knew Jayne and saw the look in his eyes when he watched the stars at night with Evan on his lap. Oh it was driving her crazy! He acted like he had everything he wanted right here, like he was perfectly happy being a workman around town. She knew he wouldn't last like this, he missed the adventures…the calm life he led now would never be for him. That wasn't what was driving Cassidy crazy though, no it was the fact that he wouldn't admit it!

Jayne pushed away his wandering thoughts to listen to his son's question.

"What's the end of the verse like Daddy?"

"It's dark and empty…and full of crazies"

"Like reavers?" Evan said with fearful wide eyes.

Jayne looked down at his son, "who told you about them?"

"I heard stories…" Evan trailed off protecting his source.

Jayne didn't want Evan having to fear one more thing but before he could offer some form of reassurance Evan asked another question, "what do you think they are doing?"

"Reavers?"

"No, dad" Evan's exasperation was clear, "Captain Mal and and the pretty 'nara lady and Kaylee and"

"I don't know," Jayne interrupted before his son could finish his list. It was actually a question he found himself asking as well. He looked towards the house where his wife was making tea and wondered again…Every time Jayne woke in the morning and went to sleep at night Cassidy was by his side. He had time every evening to spend with Evan to teach and play with him…he had everything he wanted. He was happy…but sometimes something in him would rear its ugly head and he found himself wanting to be in the sky again, a form of wanderlust he repeatedly suppressed. Nothing was worth losing his family again. Which reminded him…they were going to visit the graves today.

He got up and Evan walked with him to the house where Cassidy immediately told them both they should change so they could leave. She was in the middle of getting out clothes for Evan when there was a beep coming from the kitchen announcing a wave. Jayne appeared with no shirt on and new pants and said he would finish helping Evan if she wanted to get the wave.

Once she saw who it was she realized the solution to their current problems…it was Serenity. Mal wanted to let them know that they would be in the area for the day getting supplies and would probably stop by to say hello. She kept their conversation quick so that it was over by the time Jayne and Evan emerged. She felt guilty keeping it from Jayne but she wanted time to explain the situation without his interference so she told her husband and son that she wasn't feeling well enough to go which was partly true since she still had an upset stomach every once in awhile…it just wasn't bothering her at that moment. She felt even worse when she saw Jayne's concerned face and shrugged off his questions insisting they both go on without her…it was, after all, for his own good.

Later that day…

"Ok, now can you hit the target over there on that tree?" It was a simple question Mal asked, sure one that required a demonstration but it wasn't like the target was that far away. Hell he had seen Jayne hit a spot four times the distance without a scope even. Yet person after person stepped up and only one person was able to hit it but they had to turn him away because he was such a small man he wouldn't be any help anyways. They needed muscle when the going got tough, they needed…

"We need Jayne," Zoe said, always to the point. "As much as I hate to admit it its true, we can't even find a good shot Sir and yet we need someone to not only be that but also be as good a tracker, and that doesn't look like its going to happen."

"Jayne is off being the doting husband and good father so we are going to have to deal with what we get."

"If we hire any of these men we're just asking to get shot. Jayne had his bad sides but I still didn't ever have to feel hesitant when he was guarding my back."

"I might have just what you need" a new voice chimed in.

Zoe and Mal both stood but Mal reached Cassidy first and grabbed her up for a hug, "Cassidy, you keeping that rough and tumble family of yours all right?"

"Course Mal," she answered before turning to hug Zoe, "How's the other family" she directed to them both.

"We're all good and well," Zoe answered, "what's this about you having just what we need? You have someone around here that can actually shoot?"

"Jayne, am I right? Please, please take him." Her sincerity was clear but it confused them nonetheless.

"Wait now I'm all sorts of confused, you don't want to have your husband home?"

"I want him to be happy," Cassidy implored, "but he isn't happy here, he needs to be in the sky. As much as I hate to say it…he needs to be shot at, I can tell he's going stir crazy and because of that he's making me crazy just looking at him."

"Well he has that effect on people, but we weren't really here to take him back."

"I know, but really I don't think that you are going to find anyone to take his spot…if that was your intentions," Cassidy said as she turned to look at the men waiting for their turn to prove their worth.

Zoe turned to Mal, "captain, I thought you were crazy for hiring Jayne in the first place but now that we have a second chance I won't raise a complaint."

Mal didn't ever think that they would be arguing with Cassidy about Jayne in this way. He knew she just wanted what was best for him but he also didn't want to break them up…

Cassidy sensed his hesitation, "well, I insist that you and the rest of the crew have dinner with us so you can make up your mind then…but please don't mention it to Jayne unless you really will take him back."

That was something Mal could agree to.

Much further away…

Jayne never like cemeteries but so many people he knew were buried here that it was almost like a reunion of sorts. He gave Evan some flowers to lay on the graves of his parents and then spread the others over the other graves.

"She was very pretty huh?" Evan said as he watched the image of his mother, Natalie, play over her grave.

"She was a beauty," he said as he knelt, "your father didn't stand a chance. When he first met her she dumped a bucket of water over his head…he completely deserved it and later she said it was his wet face looking up at her on the balcony that caused her to realize how much she loved him."

"Mommy say's she was very happy when she found out she was going to have me."

"Both of your parents were happy."

"Do you think they can hear me if I talk to them?"

Jayne smiled, "they can hear you."

"Ok…well here goes. I can't remember you mama but they say you were nice and I hope you're in the heaven place." He turned to his fathers grave and continued, "daddy…I remember you sometimes," he paused as he sat and swirled his fingers in the grass, "I'm going to grow up big and strong like you…and Ill come back and talk to you more…" He turned to address his next comment to Jayne, "do you think he cares that I call you daddy?"

It was a serious question…one that reminded Jayne how fast his son was growing up, "No, Evan I think they wanted you to have a family even though they're gone."

"Ok then…well then I guess that's all for now, oh except," he paused as he rummaged in his pocket, "mama said you liked chocolate so I brought you this." The he revealed two cookies he had saved in his pocket, cookies that Jayne was amazed had made it the whole way without being devoured…Cassidy would be sorry she missed this. He watched with pride as Evan laid one cookie on his mothers grave and then moved to do the same to his fathers.

Jayne visited each grave as his son dug into their lunch. He paused at Bryant's grave and found insecurities mirroring Evans in himself. Bryant could have never meant for Cassidy to end up with Jayne…but Jayne couldn't apologize for his actions any more than he could walk away from her. Instead, he told his old friend that he was taking care of them both and that they would all be fine from then on.

After their lunch they began the long trip home.

Back at their home…

"You do realize Cassidy that we can't forcibly take Jayne back with us?"

"Does that mean you want him back?"

Mal frowned at the hope in her question, "why are you so eager to be rid of him?"

"I'm not…in fact every time I think of him in the danger from the things you do I want to scream but I don't want to see his soul waste away even more."

She left Mal to consider her words and found Simon tearing off some of her warm bread, "Simon, I hate to bother you but I can't seem to get over this stomach flu that's been bothering me."

Immediately in doctor mode Simon asked a series of questions that she didn't hesitate to answer. "You don't have a fever or any other signs of illness, I brought my med-kit just in case so lets run some tests to see just what we're working with."

Cassidy marveled at Simon always being prepared and followed all his instructions and let him ponder the results as she dished out dinner to the crew. She knew Jayne and Evan would be back any time and was going to wait outside for them when Simon pulled her aside and into a corner for privacy.

His face was pale, "Cassidy…as unlikely as it seems…you're pregnant."

Her scowl could kill, "don't tease me Simon."

"I assure you I am very serious," Simon spoke with concern, "your pregnancy will be as difficult as one possibly can be…I mean due to your internal damage there are many risks…it could even prove fatal…"

"Wait," Cassidy interrupted by lifting her hand, "are you honestly telling me I am pregnant?"

"Yes Cassidy."

Her hand dropped to lay over the lower part of her stomach…a baby. She didn't let herself hope…she felt tears come to her eyes and she threw her arms around Simon, "thank you Simon, I didn't allow myself to realize until you just said that how much I wanted a baby."

"I take it this means you want to risk it?" Simon asked as she pulled away wiping tears from her eyes.

"I will not kill my baby Simon."

With a deep sigh he had to concede defeat, "we are going to have to make sure that we give you and the baby the best chance to remain healthy."

Cassidy smiled and nodded just as she heard her husband's surprised voice as he greeted the crew that had met him outside. She made plans fast. Simon would tell the crew while she would wait until the night to tell Jayne. She was determined that her pregnancy changed nothing…in the morning they could all discuss Jayne leaving on Serenity.

It was late into the night when the crew left to spend the night on Serenity after promising to be back in time for breakfast. Cassidy couldn't wait to talk to her husband in privacy, Evan had already fallen fast asleep and had been taken to bed…all that was left was her husband.

He had been sitting on the porch nursing his drink for awhile. She quietly went to join him and slipped onto his lap as he pulled her tight against him. She took a few moments to just relish the feeling. Looking out across the wide stretch of land she wondered if she really could let Jayne go in the morning. Telling herself it would only be for a short while she finally decided to speck, "Jayne?" She frowned when he didn't reply…she had a sinking suspicion so she pinched his arm, hard, "are you awake?"

Rubbing his arm, "now I am Cass."

She moved his arms to rest over her lower stomach…right over his unborn child, "Jayne I don't have the stomach flu."

Yawning he replied, "that's good Cass, so you finally got over it?" He knew she lost sleep having to wake up and throw up, he would rub her back and help as best he could but knew it wasn't helping.

"I never had it to begin with."

Why was she talking in circles when he was this tired? "Why were you sick?" he asked.

"Jayne…I'm pregnant," as she spoke she moved back to look into his eyes so that he would know she spoke the truth.

"What?" To say he was stunned would be an understatement.

"We're going to have a baby." The slow smile overcame her as she saw the significance finally settle on Jayne.

His hands were shaking, "are you sure?"

"Simon is"

"But you said…"

"I know…it shouldn't be possible but it is." She wondered if he was even aware that he was now moving his hands very soothingly over her stomach.

His smile was huge and his grip crushing as he pulled her to him to kiss. When he stopped for breath he asked, "how?"

"I don't question miracles Jayne," she said as she caressed his stubble-covered cheeks and tried to keep her tears at bay since she knew how much he hated to see her cry.

Jayne stood with her in his arms and swept her in a circle, laughing, not able to keep his joy in check. He didn't know what on earth he had done in his life to deserve so much happiness but, like Cassidy said, he wasn't going to question it.

The next morning…

When Jayne woke to the good smell of bacon and eggs and he was thankful his wife had learned a bit of home cooking from his mother. His mood quickly soured when he moved to get off their bed and noticed bags packed by the bedroom door…his bags.

"Am I going somewhere I don't know about?" he spoke from the doorway to the kitchen as he pulled a shirt over his head.

"Morning Jayne, the others should be here soon." She tried to pretend she hadn't heard his question.

"Cassidy?" His voice had that tone that she recognized instantly…the 'I'm barely holding onto my patience' tone and turned to face him.

"Jayne…you have to go with them." Her eyes were tearing up as she spoke. She would have laughed at the look that came over her face, his jaw dropped and she knew he didn't believe what she just said, "they want you back Jayne."

"They can 'want' as much as gorram possible, it's not going to happen." Then the familiar rage.

"I told them to take you with them"

Then…hurt, "why…I don't understand, you don't want me around?"

Cassidy dropped the spoon in her hand and quickly walked over to her husband to grasp his hands in hers. She craned her head to look up at him, "Jayne, I want you with me more than anything. I love you, but I cannot see you live out the rest of your life here on solid ground…you belong in the sky."

"Cass, I know women are supposed to get all sorts of crazy when they're pregnant but you're pushing it."

She smiled, relieved that his ego wasn't permanently damaged, "It's not my hormones Jayne," at least she didn't want to blame her pregnancy for her decision.

"If you think I'm leaving you while you're pregnant you're out of you're…"

"Well that settles it" Mal interrupted from where he stood in the doorway, "Jayne refuses"

"He does not," Cassidy said with a glare at her stubborn husband who was answering with just as firm a stare.

"If I can say something?" Simon interjected, "I don't know whether the captain would allow it or if you would be willing Cassidy, but I would feel a lot better if you went with us so I could watch your pregnancy more carefully."

Cassidy stood silent for a moment before shaking her head, she hadn't considered the possibility of going with Jayne…of not having to stay and worry endlessly but she had to answer, "there's no room for a family on that ship."

"There's already a family on our ship" Inara spoke up, "right Mal?"

Mal didn't want to admit that there was an absence without Jayne on the ship and that everyone had become quickly attached to Cassidy and Evan as well…but he said the only thing he could say, "well we do have a whole shuttle empty."

"We can go with them Mommy?" Evan came out of his room rubbing his eyes and quickly ran to hug everyone and align himself clearly on the side of leaving on Serenity.

"Evan…" Cassidy implored.

"Looks like the boy has already made his decision Cassidy," Book added, "you can't deny him."

"A woman should be with her husband when she's pregnant anyways," Kaylee said hoping to make their family complete again.

"I'm not leaving her either way," Jayne answered.

It was Simon who finally convinced Cassidy when he began, "Cassidy, you really should have regular doctor supervision if you want this pregnancy…"

"Okay Simon…I get it," she interrupted before he could alarm Jayne.

"You'll come with us?" the excitement was apparent in Inara's voice as she moved to take Cassidy's hand.

"Do I have any choice? Jayne?"

"You took the choice away from me Cass," he said with no anger and a smile, "I go where you and Evan go."

The rest of the day was spent preparing and Cassidy was so busy that she completely forgot to tell Simon not to tell Jayne and by the time she remembered…it was too late.

Jayne was helping Mal get supplied for Serenity and was in the middle of hauling a crate onto the ship when he heard Simons voice behind him.

"Is prevention so hard Jayne?"

"What?" He turned to face the young doctor.

"In this day and age there are all sorts of ways to prevent pregnancy and yet you managed to avoid every single one of them," he wasn't really angry…just afraid that Cassidy's damage couldn't support a child to term and her hopes would be crushed and he wanted Jayne to understand.

"She's my wife…why would I bother?" Jayne didn't know where Simon was going but he looked serious so he decided to humor him with answers.

"She could die! I would think that's something worth 'bothering' about!"

Jayne didn't waste a second grabbing the front of Simons shirt and yanking him to him, "what did you just say?" his voice was deadly calm.

"Oh come on Jayne you had to know that this pregnancy isn't a conventional one, too many things could go wrong…complications that could be fatal for the baby and Cassidy."

"Not if I have anything to do with it," Jayne only had abstinence to turn to with this new information. He knew he sounded ridiculous but he didn't care…he wouldn't lose Cassidy and the thought of losing the baby that they had just celebrated…well he didn't want to think about it.

"You had everything to do with it, that's why she's in this condition" Simon added before he turned to walk away and leave Jayne to his thoughts…which was exactly what Jayne didn't need to be left to. It didn't take him long to find Cassidy and confront her.

"You didn't tell me how hard it was going to be Cassidy."

"Does it matter?" She knew that Simon must have explained the situation to him and decided that it was better that he was prepared after all.

"Doesn't it?"

"No…I don't think so," she continued as she saw he moved to speak, "Listen to me Jayne…I didn't tell you at first that I couldn't have children because I was scared that might push you from me and I kept telling myself that I really didn't care one way or another, but I was lying. When Simon said I was pregnant I didn't care about everything that could go wrong, I've spent too much time worrying about the bad…after this gift," she moved her hands over the slight bulge in her stomach, "I want to spend more time thinking about the good."

"I can't lose you…I wouldn't know what to do" it was a hard thing for Jayne to admit.

"You are a great father" she said as she moved her hands around him in a loose embrace that he hesitantly returned, "and it doesn't matter Jayne because I'm not going anywhere, you won't be free of me anytime soon."

"We can really do this?"

"Well after the list of things Simon said I can't do I'm not sure I can answer that," she teasingly answered, "which reminds me…you're going to have to keep your hands to yourself it seems."

With an exaggerated groan Jayne spoke to the top of her head, "How long will it be until you deliver again?" He felt her smile against his neck, "I'm sure we can find ways where I won't have to."

She couldn't help but laugh, "pretty confident in your persuasion abilities aren't you?"

"I got you to marry me didn't I?"

"Twice…"

Jayne leaned down and captured his wife's lips in a kiss that only meant to tease but quickly bordered on carnal…it would be a long few months…

Except that it wasn't

Life on Serenity was chaotic at first but it soon settled into a more mild form of chaos…which was all that could be hoped for on such a ship. After Jayne's first close call back he knew that Cassidy was right all along…he had missed this. Of course, he didn't tell Cassidy the details and she didn't want to know…unless she did in which case Jayne had to learn to recognize her mood swings out of necessity for protection of his life. It didn't matter though, Jayne would always have an audience for his adventure stories—all true—in Evan and his unborn child, he just had to brush away Cassidy's questions as to why he would talk to her stomach like the child could hear him. She tried to take it easy on Jayne but it became harder as she grew swollen with child but still she made a point to take each day as a miracle to be spent with her husband and Evan and the rest of her extended family, as well as the child yet to be born.

When Jayne finally got to hold his newborn baby girl he didn't immediately wipe at his eyes or even care who would tease him later over his emotions, those things didn't matter. What did matter were the people around him and the miracle he was holding in his hands currently gripping his finger… he knew he was hooked, so much for him being a one-woman man.

As in everyone's lifetimes there were ups and downs…there were little triumphs and big scares. Life wasn't perfect…but it is never meant to be…the point is that they were happy and were content to leave it at that.

**Wow…took quite a lot of work but I'm glad I got this down, thanks for the support everyone and I hope it didn't disappoint! **


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